So last night he sent me a loooong email, apologising again, offering full disclosure on everything, going to counselling, giving me his phone and credit card statements so I can see he has nothing to hide.
He really seems remorseful, but I think my coldness towards him has maybe shocked him into realising how serious this is.
I have the OW email and phone number, should I contact her again and ask for get side of events? My worry is that she will be biased because she seemed really keen on him.
I just feel physically sick. I checked the times he mailed her and on occasion we were sat next to each other.
He does travel occasionally with his work, but he also works from home. He has just had three weeks at home before traveling for two weeks.
I can't eat, I can't sleep and I'm waking around like a zombie. My gut tells me there is more than I know but how do I prove it? It's driving me mad!
We've been married for 15 years this year, and yes we have had our ups and downs but overall we were a pretty strong couple. We had an active sex life, and I thought we loved each other. He says he still does, but I struggle to believe it. I do believe he is remorseful but I'm not sure if he is remorseful for what he thinks he has lost (a home, family etc) or for hurting me.
As an added bonus, five months ago we moved 600 miles away from my family to live near his, so now I have the joy of being surrounded by my inlaws in a really tiny town. They don't know yet, but I know that they will put pressure on us to stay together.
He wants to take me away to talk, as it is nearly impossible at home, my 12 yr old daughter knows something is up, she just doesn't know quite what.
My parents divorced after my mum left my dad for another man. She left me an my sister with our alcoholic father and set up a new life, she is still with the man and they've been together now for 25 years. I have worked hard to forgive my parents for their mistakes (it was the worst kind of break up with lots of screaming and shouting) I think that's why I'm determined to hold it together during daytime hours for the sake of my kids. It hurts all the more because my husband knew this, he saw how my parents actions had messed me up.
I just don't know what to do. I've sent him a message to reassure him I'm ok. He was going out of his mind with worry, and he has a transatlantic journey home, so he needs to concentrate on his work and getting back safely.
I feel like I have this window of time before he gets back to work out what I want to say, but every time I try to write it out, there are no words.
Thanks for your replies. Although its sad that a place like this even has to exist, I'm glad I found it.