SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

At .420 this evening I was told there was a possibility my dd dr appt would be cxl bc dr was up in labor and delivery. I could reschedule or wait and call at .630.

I chose to wait bc I waited 6 wks for this appt.

I called back asking if there was another dr available that might be there til at least 6. This is the reply: "No. I told you to call at 630".

Say fucking what?! You told me to call at 630! I have never been spoken to like that before. What happened to "No, there is no one else here tonight you can either reschedule or call back at 630 as we d8scussed" Not effing I told you to call back at 630.

If I did that at work I would be written up

Sully I know how you feel. For the past 7 years, since I became disabled, I've had to deal with multiple doctor office personnel.

I have noticed over the years that "bedside manners" has been officially dropped from their training.

I have been sneered at, ignored, and talked down to. I have informed the doctors about it but they either don't care or didn't have the class.

I actually had one receptionist/assistant ask me how I was going to pay for my visit since I didn't have insurance. I looked her straight in the eyes and said: C.A.S.H., you know American dollars.

Fortunately another girl was sitting next to her and was polite and took over.

I swear, if they don't like their job - GET OUT!

To me, the way the front office conducts itself is more important than how "good" a Dr is. I have walked away from Dr's who were considered "the best in town" because the front office was so rude.

I vividly recall one time waiting for test results and not hearing anything. After a week I called and the nurse very rudely said "Why are you calling? If there was anything wrong we would have contacted you."

I am sorry they were so rude to you.

Inform the doctor, in writing or speaking to him or her directly. If she or he does not follow up and apologize promptly, go online. Nearly every doc is reviewed on line. Post your story, give your rating. I got seriously crappy non service from my longtime doc's office staff and went online to see what others had said. It was enlightening! So I called her (I've got a lot of chutzpah!) and talked to her about it. I have not had bad service since.

And her online reviews have improved too.

We had an extraordinarily rude ER doc once while on vacation (DS on chemo, fever...long story) -- insulting to us, condescending to DS. I wrote to the head of the hospital. Got a very nice letter of apology...

Edited to add: many docs cannot afford to lose patients, especially when the economy is bad. So you may have some leverage. Use it.

[This message edited by StrongerOne at 9:59 PM, May 6th (Monday)]

It must be in the air, I'm not going to repeat my post, but I know how crappy this makes you feel to be on the receiving end, BUT, I just go to their superiors so they at least know they have rude incompetent staff.

I can relate.
When I got MS, I went to see a neurologist. They were on the 9th floor and one of the elevators was out of service. I went in first and H was waiting for the next elevator... H had just started a new job and I didn't know the phone number. The receptionist was telling me that she could not wait for H to get up there and that she needed his work #. She badgered me so much, I asked her if she wanted me to make something up. Keep in mind that I was there for an issue with my fucking BRAIN!!!

The neurologist said I had to go down to radiology and pick up the films from my MRI because he only had the report, so I went down and I waited for my films. I took them to his office right away and handed them to the same girl. She was supposed to put them in my file for my next visit. The next appointment, guess what happened?? They couldn't find my films!!!

So, I get it, (((sully))).

[This message edited by ThoughtIKnewYa at 10:19 PM, May 6th (Monday)]

I am about to be 9 mths and I so want to change drs cause the office staff is so rude and unwelcoming all the time...

what happened to respect, smiles, and politeness, geesh!

I know how you feel..make sure you let a supervisor manager or whoever her superior is know.

[This message edited by whensenough at 11:19 PM, May 6th (Monday)]

Wow! Reading your responses.. Im shocked. What happened to me was nothing in comparison

As for krissy...I will be handing off a note to one of the head dr's. This krissy prob feels I am angry about the appt. No Im not thrilled my appt was cxl'd 2-1/2 hrs bf I was to be there esp 8f I cxl I would be hit with a hefty fee. Im not thrilled I wasnt told up front that there are new hrs and all the dr have one late night not just the new dr. I am not thrilled but not angry over all of this. I am angry over that one sentence. It was wrong. Rude. And im shocked bc this office has always been incredibly kind. All of them. This krissy is a nurse. I dealt with her for the first time when ds had high fever. I think she is partnered with the new dr, whom I like. That day she was super kind to ds so I dont get the phone comment.

I left an obgyn bc he said something that almost got him kicked in the face (I was in stirups at the time). Evidentally he had issues bc of the way the office mgr told me to do xyz when I called to say I was never coming back.

I went to a new dr. This dr is beyond wonderful. I ended up transfering to his ex partner bc of office staff. Then they hired one of the office staff from my fav dr. I havent been there in four yrs.

Maybe someone should open a harm school. Manners doesnt seem to matter much in our society anymore. Either that life is so angry for them they can no longer hold it in. Im goinv to work today hyper vigilant bc Im the one behind the counter.

Amen - I know this.

The previous doctors office knew us by name. Our last name is fairly unique, and there's ALOT of my husband's family.

Anyway, the front office staff was so rude and so unable to do their jobs, that I finally had to go to their corporate offices. The office was part of a larger health network. It got so bad that pretty much every time I went, I had to call the corporate after.

The rudeness was astounding, the fact that we NEVER got to see our own doctor for emergency appointments ticked me off, and the only reason why we stayed was because the doctor was fantastic and knew the whole family.

Right before he retired, he told us that they had reprimanded many of the front office workers and had even let go the office manager that would not help with any of our issues. Sadly it didnt help to much, they were still as rude and messed up when we left.

Maybe someone should open a harm school.

Freudian typo? I think someone did and it sounds like those people described here all went to it!

DD chose her optician's office for its proximity to her work location to minimize lost time. When she called them one day, she got a very rude response from the front desk person. She stated again what she wanted and got an equally rude response. She tried again to get across what the woman on the other end was incorrectly and rudely mixing up and got another rude reply. So DD cut her off, asking to speak with the office manager and the woman hung up on her! DD works alone most of the time, so she got up, walked to the next building and into the optician‘s office. The woman at the front desk asked if she could help and DD said yes, I'm DD and I'm here to speak to the office manager! The poor woman almost needed an ambulance!

I'm sorry, it's really frustrating, isn't it?

Mine to share is:

I got shingles two years ago, so when I finally got myself to go to the dr's office and they figured out what I had, all the nurses and medicals would yell when I walked through a door "WE'VE GOT SHINGLES!!!"

It was nowhere where it would bother people and was in the going away stage, but soooo horrible and they said nothing I'd done.

So when I got to the desk and had to pay the copay, no one would loan me a pen, so I said, "Okay, then I can't pay your copay today". and I left.

On the way out it was very tempting to make lots of contact with walls and furniture, but I wasn't that daring at the time.

Ashland I hope you changed Drs from that. Shingles is only contagious to people that have NOT had chicken pox, and pregnant women should not be around them. Any idiot with minimal training knows this.

Many offices run with very small staff. This is because the Dr's don't want to pay anyone more than min wage and no benefits and no extra help.

I managed an office for 3.5 years and it was horribly stressful. We were understaffed by 2 employees. However if I Ever heard any of my staff (including the Drs) be anything less than polite an respectful they got my wrath 10 fold.

I'm going to play Devil's Advocate, Sully. It's common for OB/gyne appointments to be pushed back; doctors can't prevent their patients from going into labor and delivering during office hours.

While I think the receptionist might have been more diplomatic, saying, "No, I told you to call back at 6:30," doesn't sound particularly obnoxious, either.

There's rude, and there's matter-of-fact. And to offense-gatherers, which unfortunately you've veered more toward in the last couple of years (when things have generally been relatively negative in your life----which colors your view of others), the two are very often confused.

If there had been another doctor available, you would have been told this at the time you were originally contacted about the changed/delayed appointment.

I am NO stranger to receptionist/nurse/doctor rudeness, so I understand your frustration. But try not to amplify it.

Sometimes, our perceptions are quite different from the intent of the person on the other end of the line. You were already annoyed. Perhaps she'd had a hard day, dealing with a day's schedule full of irate patients.

But unless her tone was really unpleasant, her words were not offensive. (And if her tone was bad, consider whether yours was, as well; you state you were irritated because you'd waited for this appointment--is it possible she got the brunt of this?)

Yes, I am a nurse. But I'm also a chronic pain patient (part of a population that is viewed with a very jaundiced eye by all but a handful of medical professionals), and have had WAY more than my share of dealing with awful medical stuff and rude personnel. And the exchange you describe just doesn't ping my radar.

Solua, the appt was for my 7 yr old dd. Office of 5 dr's is a family service. In the past dr's would cover for each other. Maybe not so much anymore.

When I spoke to the nurse the first and second times I was in my office, near my counter, in front of my boss. If I was out of line something would have been said. Now I did get testy during the thirx call, not bc the appt was definitely cancelled but because
A) I had stewed over the comment "I told you to call back at 6:30" which is out of line. It coule have been phrased differently.
B) She kept trying to give me a daytime appt next week then begrudgingly this week when I told her daytimes were not possible. Then when I finally got testy all of the sudden other dr's had evening hours that week.

Is it possible she dealt with other unhappy customers? A high possibility. I work behind the counter. It can get pretty bad. Still does that excuse the comment? Maybe I should learn to immediately and calmly call people on their bad behavior or comments.

Question for the nurses: I need dd's physical like now for a couple of reasons. I made yesterdays failed appt 6 weeks ago. Anyway in this situation, can I go to a walkin clinic (there is one 5 mins from my house that is open til 6...dr office is 40 min away)? Or is it necessary to have the physical done by her dr?

HI TushNurse,

No, I haven't been back there. I was soooo embarrassed! It was bad enough already to have shingles, OMG! It felt like I got attacked by a bees nest.

And you know, my mother is an lpn and saw it and said "that's not shingles!" I got rid of it on my own and will never forget it, nor those office workers.

This is a large office with what seems like too much staff who maybe are underpaid and undertrained? It's one of those joints where you hurry to be on time and wait...and wait...and wait. I can be patient, but 45 minutes more than once?

I've never had it again and hope not to...does it ever come back?

A nurse at this office also got annoyed at me there because I begged off the antidepressants after Perv left. Any side affects for pills I seem to get tenfold and DD only has me to lean on for her needs, so after three different tries on those pills, I begged off. I know I have depression and it's lessening, but at least the feelings I am aware and familiar with...the pills and side affects...wow.

Thank you for your nice comment. It makes me feel a little validated, because it felt like there was no compassion or empathy there. The doctor himself was very nice, but it was one of these "it's too late for a prescription, just put this ointment on it."

You can usually go anywhere to get a sports physical. Of you are in the US local drugstores have NP's that will do them and many urgent cares will provide them as well.

Good luck

Ash that is freaking awful. Those people need to be reported to the state. That is not how medicine is practiced. Gives all of us Awesome medical professionals a bad name.

Complain. You have NO idea how much we want you to. You see we have to go through the FIVE steps of progressive discipline to fire anyone. That equals a LONG paper trail. But no complaints = no paper trail= I cannot start the process of removing this jerk.

So from a physician administrator please complain.

[This message edited by purplejacket4 at 11:07 PM, May 7th (Tuesday)]

Thanks for adding that Purple
If it is a Dr that is part of a Medical Group, then it is much harder to get rid of them when they incompetent.

We fought for months to have an MD's privledges revoked from a hospital I worked in because he was incompetent, you know what finally did it, when he also had a mental break, and threatened physical harm to not only one but several RN's at Different TIMES!!!!

RIDCULOUS. And the Joker is stil "Practicing Medicine"

I dont know if this still works (its def not warrented in my case), but my Aunt who was a 3rd level or nurse who went into mgmt engineering in the hospital said go to the hospital board. Said dr would lose hospital privilages which is something they need.