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My Spiritual Marriage.

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InnerLight posted 5/6/2013 20:41 PM

I met my X while living in a large meditation center where the idea of a spiritual marriage was discussed. I lived there 10 years and I got married there. I just reconnected with a couple we shared that meditation center life with, who got married two years after we did, it was their 20th anniversary.

I had to let them know I was divorced. I said it matter of factly. No looking down or voice waivering. Hah! I am getting better at this.

She was in the flush of her anniversary celebration I guess because she chatted on with me about having a spiritual marriage and the details of how they met and all the intuitive guidance she had that it was right for them to marry. I felt a bit odd given that my 'spiritual marriage' had failed, that I had similar guidance and thoughts before I married too.

I had my moments alone today about feeling bad about all this. But after 5 years of crying over this mess, I can only put up with feeling bad about it for 5-10 minutes and then I am done. It gets old.

I guess I will not look at my marriage as a failure, just that I learned my spiritual lessons in 17 years. That my enlightenment was about something other than a lifelong marital experience. It was about how I did the best I could, made the best decision I could, that I loved whole-heartedly and I am glad I did for my sake, and in the end my self-realization is about deserving to be treated better and with more consideration.

capri posted 5/6/2013 22:03 PM

I had coffee with a man last week who made a rather critical statement about the fact that I'm Catholic, very clearly try to live the Catholic faith, and yet am divorced.

I have a friend who married for insurance purposes and has had an open marriage for 15 years, and they're going strong at 25 years, while the marriage I prayed for failed.

How do we cope with these things?

I have coped with it by understanding that my faith, my spirituality, my commitment to living what I believe, are mine. WXH chose differently. I couldn't make him have a spiritual marriage.

I look at my years in the marriage as years where I behaved with character and integrity, and that is valuable on my own spirtual journey, regardless of how he behaved in response.

I have come to the same conclusions as you.

InnerLight posted 5/7/2013 11:43 AM

Thanks Capri, I appreciated your response. I agree with this too:

I look at my years in the marriage as years where I behaved with character and integrity, and that is valuable on my own spirtual journey, regardless of how he behaved in response.

NaiveAgain posted 5/7/2013 13:09 PM

(((InnerLight)))

That my enlightenment was about something other than a lifelong marital experience.
I believe in soul mates, as in, we meet the right people at the right time in order to learn the lessons we need. You needed to be with your X for 10 years because that particular relationship had something to teach you, then you no longer needed to be with him and so you are not.

This way of thinking is what gets me through the coming and going of many different people in my life, good and bad. Nothing is permanent. Not the good, not the bad. Try to enjoy the good while you have it and don't stress over the bad because it isn't permanent.

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