I'd call bullshit on that one. They were having an emotional affair, and finally had the chance to meet up, but ended it with just a kiss? I'm just having a hard time picturing that.
I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Finally divorced Jul/17
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous!
If WH won't fess up, then call for a lie detector test. Don't fall for any "parking lot confessions". This is where the WS gets the BS to the parking lot right before the test (or really, anytime before the test is done) and comes up with more "truth" that they spill. They spill a little more truth in hopes that the BS will think that there is nothing more to tell, so they call off the test. In reality, there is TONS more to tell, but the WS just got out of coming clean with all of it because the BS bought their fake confession beforehand.
He's proven to you that he's a liar, so why on earth would you believe that he had the time, the opportunity, the fuel (alcohol), and didn't do what he went to that hotel room to do? I'm so very sorry!
Experience also dictates that they were much more physical than your WS is telling you. He can tell you you're wrong or crazy, but that doesn't make it true.
How to move forward? Listen to your gut. Protect and take care of yourself. Don't let him lie to you. The 180 is an excellent resource for how to protect yourself emotionally, and it sometimes draws the WS out of their fog as well.
For right now, your only job is to be true to yourself. Drink water, rest, go for a walk.... little baby steps in self care will help move your forward towards a healthier decision making process - when you're ready.
I wanted to believe him because it was too painful not to however, my gut kept screaming at me that he was lying. He swore he would take a poly to prove he was being truthful. To his utter shock and surprise, I found a company and booked him an appointment. He refused to take the test, he was bluffing thinking his promise would be enough to convince me. So I told him that I was going to contact her BH and offer to pay for a poly to have her tested. I said I know he will take me up on the offer so I will find out the truth. Only then did he admit that it was a PA.
Tell your WH that he has to take a poly and if he refuses, tell him that you are going to Offer her BH to pay to have OW tested. See how he reacts.