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Divorce/Separation :
Goodbye

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 fallingquickly (original poster member #36599) posted at 6:33 PM on Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

My WH has been following my posts. I no longer feel safe posting here. You have all been so wonderful and supportive. I will miss being able to vent and get input from people who understand my pain.

I hope that your situations work out in a way to make you happy.

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken

There came a point when it was too painful to love him, so I stopped.

posts: 468   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2012
id 6326238
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betrayedfriend ( member #19785) posted at 6:43 PM on Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

you can always choose to post privately via a pm if you still want and need support, I hate to see you leave if you still need support.

I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.

posts: 1023   ·   registered: Jun. 6th, 2008   ·   location: Midwest USA
id 6326250
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welcome14 ( member #26741) posted at 6:49 PM on Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

It is beyond selfish that the person that sent you here is the one who rips away the best support you could get in your time of need. Unfortunately, totally expected of the WS mindset. ((hugs))

eta: good job fallingquickly's WS. well done on your part again.

[This message edited by welcome14 at 12:51 PM, May 7th (Tuesday)]

Bs- me
Someone I used to know- Him
Nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home- nikki sixx

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.

posts: 1566   ·   registered: Dec. 16th, 2009   ·   location: clarksville, tn/ Ft Campbell
id 6326258
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ButterflyGirl ( member #38377) posted at 6:57 PM on Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

Geez, what an ass.. It's like reading someone's private journal. None of your damn business!!

You will still have the ability to read what others have written, so perhaps you can find some support by hearing other's stories and the advice given to them..

And I agree with betrayedfriend that you could still reach out via pm anytime you need to, and I for one will always be happy to reply if you need someone to talk to..

xBW~ 40
Two DS~ 15 and 11

posts: 3123   ·   registered: Feb. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Flat Earth
id 6326266
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timeforchange ( member #27454) posted at 7:35 PM on Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

I am so sorry this has happened.

Maybe it helps you know your recent decision is possibly the right one??

Keep reading though.... You don't have to log in to do that.

I for one would be happy to offer advice by PM if you like.

Me = BS aged 43
2 boys, 13 and 9
DDay 1/19/10
Confronted him 2/16/10
Finally Divorced 8/29/12

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”

posts: 726   ·   registered: Feb. 4th, 2010   ·   location: Expats in Europe
id 6326305
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 fallingquickly (original poster member #36599) posted at 7:40 PM on Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

Thank you all so much. This site and the people here are incredible. I will keep reading.

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken

There came a point when it was too painful to love him, so I stopped.

posts: 468   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2012
id 6326310
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still2suspicious ( member #31722) posted at 7:43 PM on Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

geez, what a f'ng asshat!!

FQ-please continue to read, and PM any one of us! YOU deserve to have the help you need. Any time. We are always here for each other, but you know that, right?

Sending hugs to FQ, and the one finger salute to FQ's WH!!

Me: BSHim: WHDDay: LTEA Every storm runs out of rain - Gary Allen
D final 2/23

posts: 1746   ·   registered: Apr. 1st, 2011   ·   location:
id 6326314
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Abbondad ( member #37898) posted at 7:52 PM on Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

I was considering doing the same thing. I am paranoid about my wife's vindictiveness. Is there a way to delete one's account and remove all posts?

(I would definitely like to stay and stick to PMs.)

Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune

posts: 2088   ·   registered: Dec. 25th, 2012
id 6326323
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dmari ( member #37215) posted at 8:07 PM on Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

(((((fallingquickly))))) Not posting is a safe decision. Please also pm me if you need support. Take care.

posts: 2868   ·   registered: Oct. 21st, 2012
id 6326341
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Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 8:07 PM on Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

Is there a way to delete one's account and remove all posts?

No that is against the guidelines, please do not start deleting your posts.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 6326342
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Abbondad ( member #37898) posted at 8:11 PM on Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

Deeply scared,

But can administrator do this? Particularly if a member does not feel safe and is trying to protect himself, for,example in a potential child custody battle?

Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune

posts: 2088   ·   registered: Dec. 25th, 2012
id 6326349
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Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 8:16 PM on Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

AD...

In the history of SI (which is 12 years old) we have never done that and I don't foresee us starting now.

This is a public site but its also an annonymous site, we always tell people to use caution when posting.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 6326356
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la433 ( member #38835) posted at 8:28 PM on Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

Fallingquickly,

I'm sorry that your WH is such a loser that makes you want to vomit your lungs out... Just know that not all of us men are like him. Good luck.

[This message edited by la433 at 12:16 AM, May 8th (Wednesday)]

"Arise and be all that you dreamed." ~Flyleaf

posts: 136   ·   registered: Mar. 29th, 2013
id 6326373
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dindy ( member #38424) posted at 8:37 PM on Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

fallingquickly I'm sorry you are no longer safe. I echo what the others have said and pm anyone if you need advice.

I have suspected that xWS has been doing the same thing so I shall be refraining from posting for a while just to be sure.

It's cowardly behaviour!

Sending strength.

posts: 459   ·   registered: Feb. 11th, 2013   ·   location: uk
id 6326380
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Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 8:51 PM on Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

la433...

Please refrain from baiting anyone that reads on this site, that is of absolutely no help at all.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 6326398
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SusanR ( member #29368) posted at 1:24 AM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2013

My WH started checking out my posts and brought them up in our MC sessions. I felt violated and I told him so. However, i quit posting and getting support here for awhile. in hindsight, it really doesn't matter. i told the truth and shared my feelings, somethings very foreign to him. He may be reading my posts now but I don't care anymore. I am done protecting him from the consequences of his behavior.

[This message edited by SusanR at 7:26 PM, May 7th (Tuesday)]

posts: 1970   ·   registered: Aug. 19th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6326732
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LadyQ ( member #32847) posted at 3:31 AM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2013

What SusanR said. Also would like to echo others' sentiments: keep reading, and you can always pm....

Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

posts: 1650   ·   registered: Jul. 21st, 2011
id 6326860
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gma56 ( member #19595) posted at 3:36 AM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2013

If you read a reponse on someone's thread don't hesitate to PM any of us. This has happened in the past with other WS and you can have wonderful support via PMs.

Gma

BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

posts: 20502   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2008   ·   location: Closer to where I want to be..
id 6326866
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Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 3:49 AM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2013

PM's are a wonderful way to get help specific to you. Please do not hesitate to reach out in a PM when you need to.

Hugs,

K

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

posts: 6708   ·   registered: Jul. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Florida
id 6326882
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 fallingquickly (original poster member #36599) posted at 3:56 AM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2013

Thank you so much.

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken

There came a point when it was too painful to love him, so I stopped.

posts: 468   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2012
id 6326892
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