((Zamas)) I made a decision on DD to stay away from booze completely.
I felt I already had too much on my plate and could not risk falling into another hole.
I know for some it seems to help but IMO it makes not just your mind and body foggy but it mucks up the waters in every area of your life.
Lean into the pain when it gets bad. Find a physical activity that releases the anger.
I rage walked. I rage cleaned. Hell - I even rage showered. I drove to remote areas and screamed my lungs out until I was spent.
Then I cried. I cried rivers. I cried so many rivers. I barely wee'd for weeks because all of my fluids were used for tears.
I promise you it will not always hurt this bad. I didn't believe it when they told me either but its true.
It will pass. Until then - take care of yourself as best you can. Hug your babies. Hug your friends. Let someone hold you while you sob in their arms.
Let it out. All of it.