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sort of accidental 180 and wow!
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TheAgonyOfIt posted 5/8/2013 03:37 AM
this is sort of a follow up to my previous post 2 days ago about what does real remorse look like
Well thanks to his constant excuses for not wanting to talk, and your encouragement, i woke up yesterday morning and asked myself if he was worth it? Worth my asking, pleading? Just worth it. And i'm really wasn't sure. I could leave. I could be free! So for a day i detached.
I was civil and plesant to him in evening but was so busy doing my stuff that i barely paid him any attention and certainly did not pleadingly lead him to the couch for a "conversation".
So what happened? Today, all attentive he was. and later on, he even talked and shared without my having to badger him! I did ask and repeat questions but he did talk.
And I'm still *sort of detaching*. i'm not sure he and our relationship is worth all the work it will take to "fix" it. There are other problems as well unrelated to infidelity although they all might be part of a 'character defect' which i cannot in good self care conscience accept.
Anyway, for those considering a 180, it certainly was an amazing little miracle that got his attention, and FAST too!
[This message edited by TheAgonyOfIt at 3:39 AM, May 8th (Wednesday)]
haleyscomet posted 5/8/2013 04:05 AM
i can relate to that feeling of relief you seem to have experienced to a small extent this day
feels good not to be begging / pleading, eh?
consider it a preview --
you can leave
you can be free...
how you feel doesn't have to hinge on how he makes you feel
good for u :)
isadora posted 5/8/2013 05:29 AM
The 180 is not meant to get a reaction (although it can be a side effect). It's for you to help you put the focus on you.
It feels good, doesn't it.