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HelpMe123 posted 5/8/2013 08:43 AM

Last week was a very long work week, but also an eye opening one. My last post was a week ago and it was regarding WS time not well spent with DS (9). Well let me tell you he has not one time tried to contact me or DS in that week.

I have worked every weekend, double shifts since February, which is before Dday. WS has always taken care of DS while I worked and obviously he knows my work schedule. This past weekend WS did not inquire about how I was providing child care for DS. Realizing that he spends every possible moment with OW and hasn't asked to see DS while I worked, I arranged for a family member to come get DS and take him back to my hometown area. My sister thankfully made the 2 hour drive to get him and the 2 hour drive back home. My family then each spent a day with my son while my brother (who has an 8 yr old) had all the sleepovers.

My work is 2 blocks from my home and almost anywhere I go I drive by it. While I was working on Friday I was taking a break on the front porch (I work in a 200 year old Tavern) with a male friend. WS drives right by us. I should also mention there is a stop sign right there so he cannot miss me standing out there. WS obviously knows I went to work, yet still has not asked what I did with DS. Neither of us has family in the area, except for my father in law with whom WS is staying. I do not have any friends that I would leave DS with either and WS knows this as well. I feel like he intentionally left me screwed over. Also, I would like to mention that on Friday morning WS was outback getting ready to go to work. I have mentioned in previous posts that he runs a business from our property. I had to leave for my counseling appointment while he was out there. I have been trying to NC and 180. He saw me get in my car and as I am backing out of the driveway, he waves to me. I ignore it, he waves even more, I ignore it, he starts jumping up and down screaming bye, bye, bye, and waving both arms, I ignore it. I do not understand this at all. Why the hell is he doing this????

And lastly in this very long update...When I sent DS back to my hometown area to be with family I sent his bike. He has never been taught how to ride without the training wheels. WS always taught the kids to bike ride and we felt it was more of the dad's thing. My son is the size of a 12 year old so at this point I am not even strong enough to hold him upright on the bike. I asked my brother if he wouldnt mind helping DS. Well within an hour of DS arriving with my family he was an official bike rider, and I was provided with videos of every moment of it. I stood at work crying. My family took the time, effort, love, and patience to achieve this but WS doesn't even call DS, play with him, or really even know him. Today I said to DS "you haven't seen Dad in a week, what's your thoughts on that" his response was "I didn't realize that, I don't even miss him." I said "I'm sure you miss him a bit, you were away from me for 2 days and you missed me." My lil man's response was "yeah I missed you every second because you are the best mom in the entire universe, but dad is mean and rude why would I miss him". I just said "I'm sorry" and ended it there....what an eye opening week, WS is the one who should be feeling the pain not us.

Sorry for the long post, and I again feel like I have to say, thank you to everyone on this site you are, and have been just amazing in this month of hell I have been going through.

One other update...Since DS was away I actually went out every single night!!! Working in a tavern/bar makes me never want to go out, but the guys convinced me to hang with them elsewhere....It was the most amazing fun I have had in MANY MANY years. Now at first I thought it would be weird that here I am one woman hanging out at some bar with a big group of guys (I always connected with guys over women easier)and I would be judged or whatever....omg it was so amazing, fun, relaxed, and I realized that these guys care about me as a person, coworker, and most importantly a friend. They told me how much they have seen over the years of WS abusive behavior towards me, but that they kept quiet about it. I realized that I have them, people who respect me for me, and why do I care what one person (WS) says or does....just made me think :)

[This message edited by HelpMe123 at 9:08 AM, May 8th (Wednesday)]

tushnurse posted 5/8/2013 12:56 PM

(((HM123))))
Out of the mouths of babes. Kids are far more observant than most people give them credit for.

Looks like you are realizing you will be ok, and should I venture to say it? HAPPY.

Life is too short to spend it in misery. I hope you continue to find happiness and strength each day.