Welcome to SI. Listen to the above, they offer good advice. I would also like to help if I can.
I have long said that communication is ALL important. You can have Oprah money, look like models, be in triathlon shape, have porn-movie sex every night. But if that foundation of communication is not there, it will all crumble at the first sign of trouble.
I know next to nothing about cars, but go with me on this analogy. Oil changes and tune ups are routine maintenance. They cost a little bit. If these things are not checked on, they lead to much more extensive and costly damage.
Take the time to communicate.
As far as a fight goes, if you undertake this, you are in for the fight of your life. Allow me to offer some pointers for the road ahead:
1. NC. This means NO CONTACT. Any contact between you and the affair partner ends NOW. Keep it simple when you tell the AP: Go away and STAY away. For Mrs. Soulo to even think about a conversation about reconciliation, this must be done. This is your way of getting to that conversation.
2. Like Jrazz said, it's about HER. You got to put her needs first. If you need to vent about something, pm, or even call/txt me. You will have needs to take care of too, but you have to put hers first.
3. Be PATIENT. Rome wasn't rebuilt in a day You might have HB(hysterical bonding: That's where a couple does it like rabbits to kind of reclaim each other. ) or she doesn't let you touch her for MONTHS.
About issues. We all have issues, it's how you deal with them. Yes there are issues in your marriage, mine, anyone else's. You didn't and I didn't cheat because of the issues in our marriages. It was we chose the worst way to deal with them. Get down deep as to what made this OK. This is VERY important because as Dr. Phil says, Life is not cured, it is managed. So we need to look at what was going on when we strayed. Because I can GUARANTEE you that issues like that have a way of cropping up again. We have to be ready with a healthier way of coping.
5.Your word is not worth squat right now. And it will be a long time before it has merit again. You can speed that process up by making sure your ACTIIONS are in line with your words.
Hope I've been of some help
[This message edited by JKL Vikings at 10:51 AM, May 9th (Thursday)]