Topic: A use for this thing
Member # 38122
| Posted: 4:10 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013|
I've been wanting to buy a tenor banjo for quite some time, but haven't wanted to spend the money. I was puttering around my apartment yesterday when I saw some things that could help.
My dad used to collect coins, but has recently started distributing them to us. Every once in a while, he likes to remind me of how much I could get for the coins he gave me. He always says that they belong to me now, and it is up to me what to do with them.
So I put the coins into a backpack, grabbed one more item of value, then hopped a bus to a nearby coin shop. When I arrived at the shop, I asked them what they would give me for the coins.
The response: $650
Then I pulled the other item out of my pocket. "And how much for my wedding ring?"
They offered me an additional $55.
I hopped the next bus to my favourite music store and ordered a tenor banjo. I should have it in a week or so.
There was money left over, so I bought myself a few rye-and-gingers at a nearby bar.
After a few drinks, I still didn't regret doing it, but I started to feel sad. It was probably just sadness at this symbolic end of my marriage, but it really did hurt.
Now that I'm not drunk, I'm feeling a little better. Need to start enjoying the new beginning, and stop worrying about the ending.
Haven't told STBX wife about it. Although the mean part of me would like to, I really can't find any good reason to do it, other than making her sad.
Anyone else have stories about how they got rid of their ring?
Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous
Posts: 2158 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 5929
| Posted: 4:16 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013|
My wedding band sat in my jewlery box for almost a decade. Last summer I finally sold it along with some other stuff my XH gave me. I used the cash to take my SO out for dinner and get our photos taken professionally. It was so fun. NO REGRETS!
Keep calm and carry on.
Posts: 49483 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
Member # 36697
| Posted: 4:20 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013|
Mine was Tungsten Carbide. I bought it because it was cheap and I wanted to save money to get something nice for her. The cool thing about Tungsten Carbide is that although it is really hard, it's also really brittle. One day when I was over at my Aunt and Uncles' house, I put it in my Uncle's vise and shattered it.
Posts: 2056 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
Member # 32616
| Posted: 4:27 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013|
Mine sat around for a year until I finally got around to selling it. The proceeds fittingly went towards paying down divorce debt.
“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning
Posts: 3633 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
Member # 19595
| Posted: 4:57 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013|
Sold it....no desire to keep it since the meaning wasn't the same for both of us.
I also sold all jewelry he gave me over the years. Again no meaning and didn't want the memories.
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.
Posts: 20395 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Member # 32810
| Posted: 5:15 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013|
Sold mine and paid for my first semester going back to school.
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
Posts: 14097 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 19258
| Posted: 5:18 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013|
sold mine to pay for my move to new state to put an end to the LDR in my relationship.
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
Posts: 8801 | Registered: Apr 2008
Member # 22870
| Posted: 7:52 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013|
Traded mine in at a jewelry store for a killer pair of diamond studs and a right hand ring.
The diamond studs at so obscenely huge that people always ask me if they're real. They make me smile....
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
Posts: 8079 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Member # 33226
| Posted: 9:09 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013|
Sold mine and paid the divorce filing fees with the proceeds.
You can call me NIK
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
Posts: 29093 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 26071
| Posted: 9:50 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013|
Am I the only one who kept mine? I am keeping it for my daughters, who may want it someday...
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final
Posts: 542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
Member # 31468
| Posted: 12:23 AM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013|
This post is reminding me that I need to sell mine! And the comic book collection he left!
Status: D 2011
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling
Posts: 4875 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 22033
| Posted: 12:41 AM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013|
I hadn't worn it for so long that when I moved out, I left it in the safe. It's EX's now. It's only a gold band, with a filigre design, so there is gold, but not a lot. It only cost under $400 originally anyway.
That's the thing...I didn't require much to make me happy. I loved my cheap ring. MOW on the other hand bought $200 jeans. We were so opposite.
BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).
Posts: 3251 | Registered: Dec 2008
|Grace and Flowers|
Member # 34431
| Posted: 1:29 AM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013|
I took a pair of needle nosed pliers to my band and twisted it and broke it up into tiny pieces. Then threw them at him. He tells me he keeps the pieces, along with his band, in his nightstand, because they "mean something to him".
I haven't decided what to do with my diamond...it's just a solitaire ring. It's the only diamond I've ever owned. And I know I'll never get married again. It's such a pretty stone...but now I hate it. I suppose I'll get around to selling it....
I'm Happy, not Sad!
Posts: 1233 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: US
Member # 34426
| Posted: 2:19 AM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013|
I lost mine in the woods at the bottom of my garden a few years ago when we were having a BBQ. Shame as I could do with the cash and would definitely have used it to pay towards the divorce. It was a hefty piece if platinum!!!
Me BS: 35
Her WW: 34
D Day 5th December 2011
Current status: Filled for divorce 23rd Jan 2012. Response from WW was not to beg for forgiveness, but deleting me from Facebook.
Posts: 676 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: United Kingdom
Member # 33699
| Posted: 5:00 AM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013|
XWW stole mine when she took her things and moved out. I found out a couple of weeks later when I went to sell it.
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie
Posts: 3690 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
Member # 6037
| Posted: 6:12 AM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013|
I threw mine and hers in the lake at the home we had planned to retire to up north. I don't regret it at all.
If you see your ex with someone else--don't be jealous. Our parents taught us to give our old,used toys to the less fortunate.
Posts: 5795 | Registered: Dec 2004 | From: Michigan
Member # 10552
| Posted: 10:08 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013|
I don't even know where mine is. The stone (which was pretty small) fell out during the first A (six years before we S for the last time). After that, I took it off and he never fixed it or replaced it. He said I didn't need any sort of ring. (Sidebar: When we were in R the last time, he said to pick out any ring I wanted. After much debate, I did... it was a huge step for me. And then he got mad because I didn't want the old one back and refused to get me a new one.
If I ever find it, I'll sell it for the gold and go get a pedi or something.
[This message edited by wildbananas at 10:10 PM, May 9th (Thursday)]
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
Posts: 15524 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Member # 37946
| Posted: 10:48 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013|
Congrats on the banjo!
My wedding and engagement rings were stolen during a home breakin about a month after D was final. So, I didn't have to think about what to do with them!
Me (BS)- 36
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie
Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
Member # 26367
| Posted: 12:32 PM, May 10th (Friday), 2013|
I still have both white gold bands in my jewelry box - the original from 1983 and a new one ExWH bought me during our False R because I'd lost soooo much weight on the infidelity diet
I also still have the diamond ring. It wasn't from ExWH to me for an engagement reason, it was his mother's engagement ring from his late father that she gave me when I married her precious son. So I'm not sure what to do with it, although I think I will offer the option to our son to have it reset into a ring of his choice if he meets someone he wants to marry (and has any interest in that diamond vs. buying one on his own). Until then, the diamond ring lives in my safe deposit box.
Me: BW (55)
Him: WH (62)
7/14/11 - Divorced
Posts: 1995 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
Member # 29540
| Posted: 4:26 PM, May 10th (Friday), 2013|
I'm sure this feeling will competely pass once you have the banjo in hand. That sounds like a fun instrument!
Remarried to a supremely wonderful person!
Posts: 191 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: So.Cal.
|Topic Posts: 28|