Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: Jawshappy (61166)

User Topic: A use for this thing
♂ 38122
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 4:10 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been wanting to buy a tenor banjo for quite some time, but haven't wanted to spend the money. I was puttering around my apartment yesterday when I saw some things that could help.

My dad used to collect coins, but has recently started distributing them to us. Every once in a while, he likes to remind me of how much I could get for the coins he gave me. He always says that they belong to me now, and it is up to me what to do with them.

So I put the coins into a backpack, grabbed one more item of value, then hopped a bus to a nearby coin shop. When I arrived at the shop, I asked them what they would give me for the coins.

The response: $650


Then I pulled the other item out of my pocket. "And how much for my wedding ring?"

They offered me an additional $55.


I hopped the next bus to my favourite music store and ordered a tenor banjo. I should have it in a week or so.

There was money left over, so I bought myself a few rye-and-gingers at a nearby bar.

After a few drinks, I still didn't regret doing it, but I started to feel sad. It was probably just sadness at this symbolic end of my marriage, but it really did hurt.

Now that I'm not drunk, I'm feeling a little better. Need to start enjoying the new beginning, and stop worrying about the ending.

Haven't told STBX wife about it. Although the mean part of me would like to, I really can't find any good reason to do it, other than making her sad.

Anyone else have stories about how they got rid of their ring?

Me: 1970
Two sons: 2000 and 2003
Cheating louse: What's her name again?

Married Aug/95
DDay Nov/12
Separated Mar/13
Finally divorced Jul/17

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous!

Posts: 3590 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
♀ 5929
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My wedding band sat in my jewlery box for almost a decade. Last summer I finally sold it along with some other stuff my XH gave me. I used the cash to take my SO out for dinner and get our photos taken professionally. It was so fun. NO REGRETS!

12/18/15 found out my now EX boyfriend was trolling CL for underage girls. From the cops. The fun never stops.

Posts: 49560 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
♂ 36697
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 4:20 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine was Tungsten Carbide. I bought it because it was cheap and I wanted to save money to get something nice for her. The cool thing about Tungsten Carbide is that although it is really hard, it's also really brittle. One day when I was over at my Aunt and Uncles' house, I put it in my Uncle's vise and shattered it.

Posts: 2940 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
♀ 32616
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine sat around for a year until I finally got around to selling it. The proceeds fittingly went towards paying down divorce debt.

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

Posts: 3640 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
♀ 19595
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sold desire to keep it since the meaning wasn't the same for both of us.
I also sold all jewelry he gave me over the years. Again no meaning and didn't want the memories.

It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20489 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 5:15 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sold mine and paid for my first semester going back to school.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 14446 | Registered: Jul 2011
♀ 19258
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 5:18 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sold mine to pay for my move to new state to put an end to the LDR in my relationship.

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

Posts: 9596 | Registered: Apr 2008
♀ 22870
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Traded mine in at a jewelry store for a killer pair of diamond studs and a right hand ring.

The diamond studs at so obscenely huge that people always ask me if they're real. They make me smile....

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 9154 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sold mine and paid the divorce filing fees with the proceeds.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

Posts: 40231 | Registered: Aug 2011
♀ 26071
Member # 26071
Default  Posted: 9:50 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Am I the only one who kept mine? I am keeping it for my daughters, who may want it someday...

D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final

Posts: 542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
♀ 31468
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 12:23 AM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This post is reminding me that I need to sell mine! And the comic book collection he left!

Me: BW-46
Him: XWH-46

Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

Posts: 5285 | Registered: Mar 2011
♀ 22033
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 12:41 AM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hadn't worn it for so long that when I moved out, I left it in the safe. It's EX's now. It's only a gold band, with a filigre design, so there is gold, but not a lot. It only cost under $400 originally anyway.

That's the thing...I didn't require much to make me happy. I loved my cheap ring. MOW on the other hand bought $200 jeans. We were so opposite.

BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3266 | Registered: Dec 2008
Grace and Flowers
♀ 34431
Member # 34431
Default  Posted: 1:29 AM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I took a pair of needle nosed pliers to my band and twisted it and broke it up into tiny pieces. Then threw them at him. He tells me he keeps the pieces, along with his band, in his nightstand, because they "mean something to him".

I haven't decided what to do with my's just a solitaire ring. It's the only diamond I've ever owned. And I know I'll never get married again. It's such a pretty stone...but now I hate it. I suppose I'll get around to selling it....

"Absence makes the clarity grow stronger" - cantaccept

"A good man with good intentions has no reason to lie" - somer222

Posts: 1398 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: US
♂ 34426
Member # 34426
Default  Posted: 2:19 AM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I lost mine in the woods at the bottom of my garden a few years ago when we were having a BBQ. Shame as I could do with the cash and would definitely have used it to pay towards the divorce. It was a hefty piece if platinum!!!

Me BS: 35
Her WW: 34
D Day 5th December 2011
Current status: Filled for divorce 23rd Jan 2012. Response from WW was not to beg for forgiveness, but deleting me from Facebook.

Posts: 682 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: United Kingdom
♂ 33699
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 5:00 AM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

XWW stole mine when she took her things and moved out. I found out a couple of weeks later when I went to sell it.

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie

Posts: 3987 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
♂ 6037
Member # 6037
Default  Posted: 6:12 AM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I threw mine and hers in the lake at the home we had planned to retire to up north. I don't regret it at all.


If you see your ex with someone else--don't be jealous. Our parents taught us to give our old,used toys to the less fortunate.

Posts: 6780 | Registered: Dec 2004 | From: Michigan
♀ 10552
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 10:08 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't even know where mine is. The stone (which was pretty small) fell out during the first A (six years before we S for the last time). After that, I took it off and he never fixed it or replaced it. He said I didn't need any sort of ring. (Sidebar: When we were in R the last time, he said to pick out any ring I wanted. After much debate, I did... it was a huge step for me. And then he got mad because I didn't want the old one back and refused to get me a new one. )

If I ever find it, I'll sell it for the gold and go get a pedi or something.

[This message edited by wildbananas at 10:10 PM, May 9th (Thursday)]

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 16033 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
♀ 37946
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 10:48 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congrats on the banjo!

My wedding and engagement rings were stolen during a home breakin about a month after D was final. So, I didn't have to think about what to do with them!

Me (BS)- 36
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
♀ 26367
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, May 10th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I still have both white gold bands in my jewelry box - the original from 1983 and a new one ExWH bought me during our False R because I'd lost soooo much weight on the infidelity diet

I also still have the diamond ring. It wasn't from ExWH to me for an engagement reason, it was his mother's engagement ring from his late father that she gave me when I married her precious son. So I'm not sure what to do with it, although I think I will offer the option to our son to have it reset into a ring of his choice if he meets someone he wants to marry (and has any interest in that diamond vs. buying one on his own). Until then, the diamond ring lives in my safe deposit box.

I'm done here; sick of 2 x 4s

Posts: 2057 | Registered: Nov 2009
♂ 29540
Member # 29540
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, May 10th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sure this feeling will competely pass once you have the banjo in hand. That sounds like a fun instrument!

Me: BS
Her: WS


Remarried to a supremely wonderful person!

Posts: 215 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: So.Cal.
Topic Posts: 28
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.