I am concerned for her, but I am also seriously concerned about her job. My affair was with a co-worker, I left a good government job with good benefits (it was a mutual decision, it was the right decision, I don't regret it or second-guess it for a second), meaning that we now rely on her job for our health insurance while I am in the process of beginning my own law practice. We have two children, our son had significant health issues during his first year (turned one in February), we cannot afford not to have health insurance, and I am incredibly concerned that she is going to be fired.
Since I have left my job I have mostly been working from home, her job allows her the same freedom to set her own schedule, so I am fully aware of how much time she has spent working versus how much time we have spent together. In many ways it has been wonderful, we have spent a lot of time focusing on each other, a lot of time talking through difficult issues. On the flip side, neither she nor I is devoting the amount of time to our careers that we should be, and now I don't know how to push her to re-committ herself to her job without coming across as insensitive to everything she is going through. Whenever I have mentioned our precarious position, her response is that it is unfair for me to put that pressure on her, that I am the one who did this and put us in this spot. Anyone who has dealt with anything similar, or gone through anything similar, I would appreciate any advice, I don't know what to do, and I now that the only way things can definitely get worse than they are now is by introducing truly devastating financial concerns....
2 Year Physical & Emotional Affair (Co-Worker)
Depression, PTSD, and other side effects are very common. Sometimes professional hep is needed to deal with it.
Separated transitioning to D
Learning to breathe again - one day at a time
I agree your wife could need help for depression - has she spoken to her doctor about this?
In the meantime, if as you say
"neither she nor I is devoting the amount of time to our careers that we should be"
could you take some of the pressure off her shoulders by looking for a job for yourself with health benefits? Even if it means putting the starting of your own practice on hold temporarily?
[This message edited by sinsof thefather at 9:56 AM, May 9th (Thursday)]
Disclaimer, while we have no children, I do have significant health issues of my own, so I totally get needing that assurance that, if health goes south, that at least there is insurance to help with the costs.
D-Day, June 10, 2012