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No Mind Movies. Weird?

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libertyrocks posted 5/9/2013 12:02 PM

It's been 6 months since first Dday. Since the beginning I've only had a weekend of mind movies because that's when I found out there were multiple OW. Needless to say, I have absolutely no OW images when I'm with H. I'm with him and they don't matter to me. I noticed a lot of others get those mind movies.

I get mind movies with other things, like places they ate at, or checking into a hotel, or driving them in our vehicles, which we are in the process of getting rid of. I guess it's different for everyone, men/women.

mysticpenguin posted 5/9/2013 13:17 PM

I have a kind of similar situation to yours -- at first, when I thought it was only 1 OW, I had mind movies. Then I found out it was 4 total (3 separate ONSs) and I only know what 1 OW looks like so... no more mind movies. Sometimes I have flashbacks to the time I got in his car and felt dirty, or the time I had a strong feeling that if I went home early from work I'd find something terrible out... I also have trouble watching TV shows or movies that reference one night stands, since I've never had one or even had casual sex -- I'll find myself thinking "So this is how it must have happened."

I think part of this may boil down to primary senses -- some people experience the world largely by feel (they tend to be kinetic learners who will say things like "I feel you"), by hearing (learn best by listening, tend to say things like "I hear you") or visually (learn by watching and tend to say things like "I see what you're saying"). The latter group probably tends to have the most trouble with mind movies.

I don't know if any of this helps but I wanted to say that I understand. ((hugs))

sodamnlost posted 5/9/2013 13:24 PM

visually (learn by watching and tend to say things like "I see what you're saying"). The latter group probably tends to have the most trouble with mind movies.

YUP. Dead on for me. I am a visual learner and a photographer by profession. EVERYTHING is an image to me. My past, good and bad are all remembered as stills or videos in my mind. I have the worst time with mind movies - they are SOOOOOO real :-(

crazyblindsided posted 5/9/2013 15:19 PM

Nope not weird. I don't get them either unless I actively think about it.

I replay how the events happen over and over and the OW's words to me replay in my head.

I got to read all the deleted texts off my WH's iphone so my mind is branded with all of their lovely texts to one another

Just writing this out makes me want to scream, "Thanks WH for giving me another trauma in my life that will stay with me till my death."

libertyrocks posted 5/9/2013 16:35 PM

wow, how did you get those deleted iphone texts, crazyblindsided?

3kids30years posted 5/9/2013 16:50 PM

Makes sense to me - i am a visual learner, the mind movies have been HORRIFIC!!!

I'd love to know how to get the deleted text messages.....

I got to read all the deleted texts off my WH's iphone so my mind is branded with all of their lovely texts to one another

Share?

[This message edited by 3kids30years at 4:50 PM, May 9th (Thursday)]

Missymomma posted 5/9/2013 17:05 PM

I haven't ever had many mind moves. A few, but I don't think my imagination works that well on certain things.

Theradin posted 5/9/2013 17:31 PM

Definitely not weird. I used to get mind movies all the time. I think what stopped them for me was really learning EVERYTHING about what they did (and did NOT do), both sexually and non-sexually. Mind movies, from what I've read, are largely fantasy - they are your mind's way of creating a scenario - a backdrop - with which to make sense and "see" something, when you've never actually seen it (in person, in video, or in pictures). The more I allowed the reality of it to be fed to me, the less I had mind movies.

Plus, one factor for me is that my WW's AP was hideously unattractive and very repugnant. Knowing that, I no longer feel like I have to watch those movies to see how much 'better' he was than me, as I firmly believe that on my worst day, and on his best day, he couldn't hold a candle to me. Now, had her AP been Brad Pitt or something like that, well, I'm sure I'd be going crazy!

La Traviata posted 5/9/2013 18:55 PM

Nope. Everyone's different. I have full blown PTSD (infidelity was not the initial trauma) and I've never had what most people would define as a "flashback."

I'll return to the emotional space of an event, but I never "see" anything, even in my mind's eye, unless I try.

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