((( mommy1013 )))
Welcome hon. You've been dealt a terrible blow with a double betrayal.
She sure sounds like she carefully plotted this out, but the truth is - your H chose to follow through. Being angry at her is normal. She is naturally the focus of your anger and hurt, except, your H is the one who really betrayed you the most.
Not talking of it is very dangerous to your healing, bottling things up until you explode is detrimental to your relationship.
Can you get yourselves into a good MC? Someone who is trained in infidelity and someone who can guide you through why the affair happened and how you can take steps to heal yourself, your husband can heal himself & the marriage.
There are a lot of helpful articles in the Healing Library, you will find a great source of information there.
Keep posting and reading. I'm sorry you had to find us.