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Newest Member: Mlynm (61831)

User Topic: Dinner tonight. Need advice!
♀ 19234
Member # 19234
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok so last month I discovered I was in a six year false r. My wh was having a pa with one person And an ea with another. I started to discover the ea and saw that my wh told me not to go to a "boring" business dinner and instead invited her. Somehow she did not go because she had to work late but he invited her and she planned to meet them all after. I called wh that night And said he needed to come home( long story) because I felt this was a turning point into a pa. Anyway I confronted him soon after and he admitted to ea and sex with someone twice. So now we are trying to fix this mess. This evening I am Joining him at a business dinner with the same people. All of a sudden I feel triggery. And I can't stop wondering if wh brought her with him with these people before? He says no. Not sure. So do I go out and be my charming self :). Do I tell wh I am starting to freak out? Or do I tell him tomorrow when we have a scheduled talk? I all if a sudden feel like I might be embarrassed to see these business people if he brought her. I have to see them next week anyway so I guess I will have to deal with it sooner or later. Advice needed!!

[This message edited by hopeful18 at 1:46 PM, May 9th (Thursday)]

Posts: 339 | Registered: Apr 2008
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 1:52 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well I see 2 options here. One you make sure you look drop dead gorgeous and go and be your awesome self.

or 2, and this would probably be the one I would take. Make him bow out of it, and stay home with you.

But a 6 year false R?!?! I'm not sure I could be trusted to be alone w/ my spouse if I had made this recent discovery.

((((and strength))))

Him: FWS
Kids: 18 & 20
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

Posts: 13422 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
♀ 19234
Member # 19234
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't want him to cancel because its his biggest client. In terms on false r. He is saying that it did not occur again until this winter. Still is false r but somehow seems the smallest bit better.

Posts: 339 | Registered: Apr 2008
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go. Make sure that you're dressed to the 9's and become that charming and attractive wife that everyone at the table admires. Afterwards, I personally would then cut him cold. No matter when he started screwing around again, it's still a second DDay to you, lies from him, and more pain. Especially as you know that he was planning to present her to his clients as his wife-wannabe.

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 10176 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♀ 6864
Member # 6864
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope you went and charmed all with your fabulous self!

♥ WINE - the other fruit juice! ♥

Posts: 36162 | Registered: Apr 2005
Topic Posts: 5

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