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Aubrie posted 5/9/2013 18:34 PM

Excuse me while I celebrate a good thing. (I've been talking about the bad enough eh?)

I took another step forward today. I reached out. I've made many friends here at SI and everyone always says, "Call me anytime. Just let me know if I can do anything." And I really, really do appreciate the kindness shown to me. The people here are incredible. However, I haven't ever really taken anyone up on the offer.

I have retracted alot since Dday. Turned inward. Being a mouthy, extroverted, non-boundary exercising individual is what brought me here. I have tried to be really careful about sharing too much or being too friendly with people. I don't want to rely on external validation and don't always trust myself with knowing when enough is enough.

Plus (And you've heard this before) I have struggled with being a friend. All my previous friendships (Yes, every single one of them.) are over. They were all toxic. I don't really know how to be a healthy friend. And I feel incredibly awkward.

So anyway, I stuffed my nerves and picked up the phone to call this girl. We spoke for 30 minutes. I can't express how awesome it was to talk to a real live human being, a girl, a friend. Half an hour. That's all it was. We had a really nice time. A good conversation. It was pretty cool.

I finally decided to believe someone who said, "Its ok, call me anytime." and trust they meant it. I acted upon it. And it ended up being really nice.

So thank you Friend. I appreciate it.

authenticnow posted 5/9/2013 18:39 PM

That's awesome, Aubrie!

Turned inward. Being a mouthy, extroverted, non-boundary exercising individual is what brought me here. I have tried to be really careful about sharing too much or being too friendly with people. I don't want to rely on external validation and don't always trust myself with knowing when enough is enough.

Plus (And you've heard this before) I have struggled with being a friend. All my previous friendships (Yes, every single one of them.) are over. They were all toxic. I don't really know how to be a healthy friend. And I feel incredibly awkward.

I did that, too. And then we moved and so I really had no friends.

I am just starting to cultivate new friendships (well, for about a year), but this time with healthy boundaries in place, and it feels good.

BaxtersBFF posted 5/9/2013 18:40 PM

Good for you Aubrie. And way to go SI friend of Aubrie!

gahurts posted 5/9/2013 19:15 PM

I am learning that the friends I am making here are real and can be counted on. Please remember that!

abbycadabby posted 5/9/2013 19:35 PM

Aubrie- YOU, my dear, are awesome!!!

I can assure you that your SI friend is just as lucky, just as blessed, to have your friendship as you are to have hers.

Aubrie posted 5/9/2013 21:50 PM

Please remember that!
Trying to! I think part of it is, I get hung up on the fact just about everyone here is trying to heal and deal with their own pain. What I forget is just as I reach thru my own towards others, everyone else here is doing the same. Kind of for me to lose sight of that, but I do.

knightsbff posted 5/10/2013 10:36 AM

Pudding posted 5/10/2013 13:46 PM

Well done Aubrie

Wanted to say that may of your posts have helped me a lot over the past few months. Thank you

SuperDuperWonderboy posted 5/10/2013 13:53 PM

Hey Aubrie.
I still remember when you called JNRPA. And am still thankful for it.

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