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Newest Member: Phoenix2rise (45723)

User Topic: When do I let him talk to me?
La Traviata
♀ 14941
Member # 14941
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After what we'll call DDay#2, I left. Haven't talked to him since except about logistics. My plan is to go 6 weeks without making decisions to give me a chance to sit with my feelings and figure out what I want to do.

When do I allow him to talk to me via email?

I can't reconcile with someone I'm not speaking to- so it has to happen. I just don't know if I'm ready.

So far he's respecting my "boundaries"


me: BW 31
him: WH, 29
DDay: 4/16/12
RelapseDay:4/15/13

A year of false R. I grew and worked, he didn't. He took off his wedding ring during an alcoholic relapse, I packed and left the next day. I went back 8 weeks later, working hard


Posts: 186 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: NOVA
Skan
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There's no right or wrong how do you feel about talking to him? Do you even want to, right now? Is the 6 weeks to be physical NC alone or complete NC? Do you want to ease into talking to him? Do you want the support of talking with a MC (assuming that you might have had one)? What do *you* want to do, feel is right? Because yeah, there's no possibility of R without talking, however you've been talking for a year and are now facing DDay#2. So talking alone isn't going to do the trick. What do you need to even want to start talking again?


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 5096 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
blakesteele
♂ 38044
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((La Traviata))

Alls I have is an electronic hug for you. I dont even want to imagine how you must feel after 1 year of continued lying...I am only 8 months out from DD...and our path has not been linear.

If you can, try and be still and pray....allow calmness to enter you before you contemplate what the "right" next move for you is to be.

I have not mastered this, but have done it enough to know it works.

((La Traviata))

God be with you.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
La Traviata
♀ 14941
Member # 14941
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just sent him a "you may email me now, I want to hear what you have to say" email.

We'll see.


me: BW 31
him: WH, 29
DDay: 4/16/12
RelapseDay:4/15/13

A year of false R. I grew and worked, he didn't. He took off his wedding ring during an alcoholic relapse, I packed and left the next day. I went back 8 weeks later, working hard


Posts: 186 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: NOVA
Topic Posts: 4

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