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La Traviata (original poster member #14941) posted at 12:59 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2013
After what we'll call DDay#2, I left. Haven't talked to him since except about logistics. My plan is to go 6 weeks without making decisions to give me a chance to sit with my feelings and figure out what I want to do.
When do I allow him to talk to me via email?
I can't reconcile with someone I'm not speaking to- so it has to happen. I just don't know if I'm ready.
So far he's respecting my "boundaries"
me: BW 31
him: WH, 29
DDay: 4/16/12
RelapseDay:4/15/13
A year of false R. I grew and worked, he didn't. He took off his wedding ring during an alcoholic relapse, I packed and left the next day. I went back 8 weeks later, working hard
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 1:18 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2013
There's no right or wrong how do you feel about talking to him? Do you even want to, right now? Is the 6 weeks to be physical NC alone or complete NC? Do you want to ease into talking to him? Do you want the support of talking with a MC (assuming that you might have had one)? What do *you* want to do, feel is right? Because yeah, there's no possibility of R without talking, however you've been talking for a year and are now facing DDay#2. So talking alone isn't going to do the trick. What do you need to even want to start talking again?
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
blakesteele ( member #38044) posted at 2:59 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2013
((La Traviata))
Alls I have is an electronic hug for you. I dont even want to imagine how you must feel after 1 year of continued lying...I am only 8 months out from DD...and our path has not been linear.
If you can, try and be still and pray....allow calmness to enter you before you contemplate what the "right" next move for you is to be.
I have not mastered this, but have done it enough to know it works.
((La Traviata))
God be with you.
ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred.
La Traviata (original poster member #14941) posted at 3:49 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2013
I just sent him a "you may email me now, I want to hear what you have to say" email.
We'll see.
me: BW 31
him: WH, 29
DDay: 4/16/12
RelapseDay:4/15/13
A year of false R. I grew and worked, he didn't. He took off his wedding ring during an alcoholic relapse, I packed and left the next day. I went back 8 weeks later, working hard
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