Hmmmm...my intuition is up a bit concerning this type of thing affecting my family. No public rumors yet..and I hang out at the barber shop and local diner...best places to keep up on things in our small town!
I have no hard facts to support my intuition...just some recent observations concerning my wifes OM and his actions.
We, too, live in a small town...run ins with all involved are inevitable. I dont seek him out in our community, but am tuned into his physical looks and the vehicle he drives. I am naturally observant of my surroundings anyway (though my wifes A was only discovered by me through an innocent alert from our cell phone carrier telling me texting limits were approached..sigh), and this experience has done nothing but hone those skills to a fine point.
My intuition is starting to tell me my wifes AP may be a chronic cheater...but, then again, we DO live in a small town so I kinda think if this were the case it would be known throughout our small community if this was true...but, of course, my wife and him kept a pretty good secret..so it is possible to go unnoticed for a bit. My concern and tie into your rumors question is this: If this is correct, and he is a chronic cheater, it is just a matter of time before he runs one too many women and the house of cards explodes...at which time the entire trail of destruction will be explored and rumors and truths will abound. But I am also prone to going to extremes in my thoughts...so bare with me on that.
Regardless of if my intuition is true...the fact is when you live in a small town, and both wayward partners are from married households with mulitiple children...the risk of rumors and unintentional slip ups is a very real risk. add to this the fact that both my wife and her AP are local business owners it makes an easy public target for intentional " accidental "run ins...if you know what I mean.
Moving would eliminate (or at least greatly reduce the chances) that. But that is not an easy decision...
Yep, it is sad how many lives this selfish act burdens...that could result in life time issues (as we are discovering within ourselves through counseling) for the most innocent among us...not that even the worst of us (WS or BS) deserve this much trauma.
There are actually real live people who INTENTIONALLY wreck homes...and brag about it. I work with one such male.
At this point anyway I beleive the A that entered my family was started innocently enough....
I still MOSTLY believe the above statement...of my wifes A starting innocently enough between two niave adults...at least at the start.
The intuition I spoke of above? It is based on some observations of late of him...but I am in touch with myself enough to know that a part of me would like to find out that my wife was somehow tricked into a relationship with him...and through that selfish desire of mine I could see me building more into my intuition and what I THINK I observed than is really justified.
sigh....this is a crazy trial for us all...BS and WS alike.
God be with us all.
[This message edited by blakesteele at 8:50 PM, May 9th (Thursday)]