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She11ybeanz posted 5/9/2013 21:25 PM

UGH!!!! So my daughter's sperm donor signed the paternity acknowledgement papers at Social Services yesterday and now has to pay me his measley $65 a month (since he is unemployed FOR LIFE)!

Well...he emails my sister today apologizing for his heartless mother not wanting to hold Piper or even look at her... sayiing that she only acted like that because she knew that *I* hated her and him. I don't hate them. I hate how they treated my daughter and I!!! During my pregnancy and after!!!

Then he has the nerve to say that "If I had needed his help or needed the money....all I had to do was let him know and he would have helped me, but if I want to go this route than that is fine too...." He said that he had been giving me $200 a month and he knows that the ordered $65 isn't much...but that ALL I HAD TO DO WAS ASK!!! OMG!!!! JACKASS!!!!!! He hasn't given me one red cent since the beginning of December and when I did get in a fight with him a couple of months ago....he said that he wasn't going to give me any money "UNLESS" I was on good terms with him!!! So, I told him to shove his good terms up his scrawny blackmailing deadbeat ASS!!!!

Please stop me before I respond to his manipulating bullshit!!!!!! SERIOUS 2x4's needed!!!!!!!!!!!!

persevere posted 5/9/2013 21:37 PM

Take a few deep breaths and see it for what you know it is...bullshit. You did the right thing, you cannot control their reaction. We all know his actions have proved far more than the words he's now spewing.

Stay the course Shelly and stick with NC. Piper needs you to focus on what matters and ignore the noise from the sperm donor. ((Hugs))

metamorphisis posted 5/9/2013 21:39 PM

Just don't even go there with him. Honestly. All that will come of it is more stress for you, and then in turn more stress for Piper because Mama is upset.

Been there, done that, trust me.

Let me give you a glimpse into your future. Your dd is 16, beautiful, intelligent, kind, trustworthy, strong and confident. She's has struggled to understand why and how her father could be the way he was, but has come out the other side viewing the situation with maturity. Sadly, she pities her dad but knows his lack of involvement or support was his choice, and not a reflection on her.

Honestly Shelly, I was exactly where you are 15 years ago and had to pick my head up and make sure I was all I could be for her because it wasn't going to come from him. Once I got over the outrage.. well, I just don't feel much about him to be honest. We made it just fine. And you will too.

persevere posted 5/9/2013 21:42 PM

Nice post meta. Listen to her Shelly. You and Piper will be okay - just keep going down the smart path - you are doing amazing.

She11ybeanz posted 5/10/2013 07:43 AM

Thank you metamorphisis and persevere!!! ((BIGHUGZ))

I needed to hear all of that! I know he is just full of crap but he still seems to know how to get under my skin! I will keep NC. I know it is for the best. I look forward to watching my little one grow up....she is going to be so beautiful!

nowiknow23 posted 5/10/2013 07:50 AM

I'm not familiar with your relationship with your sister, or hers with the sperm donor, but if there's a way to cut that path of communications off, do it.

If your sister can block him, have her do it. If she can't or won't, ask her to stop passing along his crap manipulations. And if she won't, stop reading/listening to it.

cmego posted 5/10/2013 07:58 AM

Yeah...I agree with letting your sister know not to tell you when he emails her crap like this.

If he really WAS sorry, he would have contacted you directly. What a chicken shit move to contact your sister. It is immature, manipulative and passive aggressive.

The very best thing you can do is see this situation for what it IS. A pathetic move on his part. Roll your eyes, brush him off and keep moving forward.

Letting go really is a gift for yourself (and your cute dd!)

She11ybeanz posted 5/10/2013 08:31 AM

I agree....apologizing for his mother means nothing to me. If she wants to apologize, let her do it herself! And, like you said...he's too chicken shit to say these things to me! It just chaps my ass that he had the nerve to say that all I had to do was "contact him" and he would have helped... I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO ...YOU DEADBEAT WASTE OF FUCKING SPACE!!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE THE RIGHT THING FROM THE SECOND YOU KNEW I WAS PREGNANT WITH YOUR CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay....vent over. I feel better now..... I'm so glad I have SI to vent my rage in...

Kajem posted 5/10/2013 08:55 AM

Shelly,

His actions show someone who doesn't care. FTG Piper is better off without having someone who doesn't care about her in her life. It leaves room for those who do care.

My DD (22) has a 1 yo daughter and babydaddy is non existent in her life. And after what my DD went thru with my split from XH and the subsequent crap of being a child of a NPD parent. She has opted to support DGD on her own (well with my help-she lives with me). There are places to go for help WIC, Medicaid, childcare etc. Utilize them if you are able.. they are mostly temporary and can help you for a time.

Hugs,

K

[This message edited by Kajem at 8:56 AM, May 10th (Friday)]

She11ybeanz posted 5/10/2013 10:18 AM

I, unfortunately and fortunately, make too much money for WIC or food stamps or any kind of assistance basically... but they don't take into account your debt... but I'm making it okay....its not always easy....but we are holding our own...

Fireball72 posted 5/10/2013 13:09 PM

I just want to tell you, She11y, that I was the child of a single mom who was on Welfare in the 1970s and struggling to make ends meet (trying to work three part-time jobs while taking care of two kids!!!) - your daughter will remember everything you've done and sacrificed on her behalf when she gets old enough to understand, and she will love you forever for it.

I appreciate my mom's dedication and hard work so much. That woman is a SAINT in my eyes.

Your daughter will see it the same way. Promise.

[This message edited by Fireball72 at 1:10 PM, May 10th (Friday)]