(((lostgirl12))) <--- hugs
Welcome to SI. It is a great place to get support but I am so sorry you have to be here. It really sucks!
You need to take care of yourself. This is in no way your fault - you know that right? The cheating is all on him.
Have you checked out the healing library - the yellow box in the top left. There are lots of articles and recommended books to read.
You have been betrayed by 2 women who were supposed to be your friends as well - that must add to the hurt a lot. They were no friends of yours or your marriage!
Has your husband gone totally no contact with these women?
If no contact hasn't been established he should send a no contact email. Just a sentence or 2 telling them that there will be no further between them. That he is committed to healing the relationship with you who he has hurt deeply. No apologies to them or any chit chat - just the basics - you should see it first. Then he should block their email addresses and delete and block contact with them from any social media sites like facebook.
He needs to be open with ALL his email addresses and means of contact and you should have passwords to check any time you want.
Total transparency. There should be no secrecy - privacy is for using the toilet only.
Counselling is really important and helpful - both of you need to get into counselling - first individually.
Your WH needs to find out why he carried out this behaviour and the issues he has around using porn. Some people have porn addictions and they need help.
From your profile I see you are involved in church. Your WH needs to be accountable to friends (MEN only) he can trust - men he can talk to and tell - your pastor maybe.
You can heal and reconcile if you are both committed to this. Best wishes and keep posting - we are here to support each other.
more hugs (((lostgirl12)))
[This message edited by avicarswife at 4:21 AM, May 10th (Friday)]