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Newest Member: Starrystarrynight

New Beginnings :
Why does my X care what I do on FB?

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 hexed (original poster member #19258) posted at 1:24 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2013

oh my X is such a gem some time

I accidentally sent a friend request to OW (apple butter betty). It really was an accident. I thought she was blocked.

I got a text from my X "why did you send a friend request to ABB?") --- I didn't realize I had. Sent a brief explanation. Suggested she ignore it and block me. Why is this a big deal?

His response to my explanation "no worries. Sorry for bothering you. Sorry you feel the need to block me from knowing who your friends are on FB"

I have my settings on FB locked down fairly tight. The reasons are none of his business.

Don't know why I responded at all but I sent back a response that basically said "almost everyone is blocked from that"

his response "OK I guess I never thought of blocking people I'm friends with on FB from seeing who else I'm friends with on FB" my response

"then don't do it?"

He went on a complete tired after that. apparently I'm flippant. I must be hiding something. blah blah blah blah

My only question? Its been 5yrs. Why do you care?

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

posts: 9609   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2008
id 6330214
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She11ybeanz ( member #27457) posted at 2:38 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2013

He cares because he is NOSY and has been obviously face-stalking you and wants to know your every move!!! Trust me on this one!! MOW actually took over a running site and changed her name to a generic name "Anne" (which is nothing close to her name) and friended me pretending to be this other person and would frequently send me messages being all nice and asking me nosy questions about my life and running...etc! She even had me and Piper's donor (dating at the time after the divorce) to put on a running event for her as she always "conveniently" couldn't attend but admired our running and needed assistance. Being the nice person I am, I agreed. This was all during my divorce and a few months after ...until I finally put 2 and 2 together and deleted and blocked her spying ass! I remember she sent me a message right before I blocked her saying "I was wondering how long it was going to take you to figure it out!" CRAZY BITCH!

My friends list is locked down too! There are just some friends that I have that I can't 100% trust aren't still talking to MOW or Piper's sperm donor....and there's really no way for me to know...so I just make it so they can only spy on me with restrictions. Just makes things easier....

Its none of his damn business who you are friends with!!! Ron Jeremy could be one of your best buds and he doesn't need to know that!

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 8:41 AM, May 10th (Friday)]

"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12

posts: 2767   ·   registered: Feb. 4th, 2010   ·   location: Virginia
id 6330321
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NeverAgain2013 ( member #38121) posted at 2:45 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2013

Why were you even looking at her profile in order to accidentally send a friend request in the first place?

It just tells them that 5 years out, you're still handing over your power to these two because you care enough to look at her profile.

Block both of them.

Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

posts: 6327   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2013   ·   location: USA
id 6330334
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 hexed (original poster member #19258) posted at 2:51 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2013

I didn't even realize I had. I wasn't looking at her profile to my knowledge. She popped up as "people I might now" as well the FB page devoted to their dog and HS friend.

Apparently while watching TV, my uber sensitive mouse clicked where it shouldn't. I thought she was blocked until I found out last night. I blocked her EONs ago.

My X and I are FB friends for a variety of convenience reasons. We are not normally hostile anymore. It just makes things easier and I don't give a flying fig what he sees on my FB page. I'm not that interesting.

After 5 years, I just lack the ire or pain that dictates the 'block them' reaction. I don't FB stalk either one of them.

I just find it weird that he cares or has noticed he can't see my friends. He's still texting me about it this morning b/c I won't respond anymore.

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

posts: 9609   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2008
id 6330347
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Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 2:53 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2013

See, normal (healthy) people would see your profile and think, "Hexed is private."

X sees your profile and thinks, "Hexed blocked me from seeing xyz. She must be hiding something from me. THIS IS ABOUT ME!"

X thinks the world revolves around the sun shining out of his ass. Everything is about him. Everything is personal.

This is because he's fucked up.

I'm not sure how much simpler I can state it.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

posts: 14469   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2011
id 6330349
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She11ybeanz ( member #27457) posted at 4:22 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2013

X sees your profile and thinks, "Hexed blocked me from seeing xyz. She must be hiding something from me. THIS IS ABOUT ME!"

BINGO Amazonia!!!

"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12

posts: 2767   ·   registered: Feb. 4th, 2010   ·   location: Virginia
id 6330481
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Helen of Troy ( member #26419) posted at 4:52 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2013

"why did you send a friend request to ABB?")

If this happens again, ignore.

He cares because he has not detached. (unhealthy, but obviously that is no surprise)

posts: 4809   ·   registered: Dec. 4th, 2009
id 6330531
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 7:52 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2013

I'd just block them both - for lots of reasons. The main one being having to have anything like this discussion at all.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6330809
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nolight ( member #32785) posted at 8:11 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2013

I'm with Amazonia on this one too. CN I ask why she's called apple butter Betty?!

We make our own fortunes and call them fate, and what better excuse to choose a path then to insist it's our destiny.

posts: 610   ·   registered: Jul. 14th, 2011
id 6330849
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tabitha95 ( member #22033) posted at 9:25 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2013

He sounds paranoid and controlling.

I block a lot of people on FB. Not even people I don't hate or anything...just people that may know someone, who knows someone, etc...

BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

posts: 3266   ·   registered: Dec. 13th, 2008
id 6330994
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 hexed (original poster member #19258) posted at 9:29 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2013

no light - Apple Butter Betty comes from the first tangible proof of the A. "ho-made" apple butter under the front seat of my car. I was suspicious and new he was lying when I asked about it. Her first name starts with B so I called her Apple Butter Betty for a while. Now I just use her name. A Nickname gives her too much status.

I recently so a funny on FB about 'Ho-made' apple butter so I dusted off the nickname for a giggle.

Yeah- I think my X is paranoid. weird. I just don't get it.

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

posts: 9609   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2008
id 6331004
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