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Reconciliation :
triggers

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mad2

 worthless1 (original poster new member #39226) posted at 4:09 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2013

my hubby is in the army, during his 6mo affair he often met the ow while in uniform. She loved the way he looks in it.well so did i, but now everytime i see him in the uniform whitch is 5 days aweek i get triggers, and mind movies,how do i get a handle on this. it cant be changed he has to wear it every day that hes on duty.thanks for your help.

still trying

posts: 3   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2013   ·   location: tn
id 6330466
concerned

onlyTHRUthePAIN ( new member #39161) posted at 8:53 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2013

I don't really have any advice for you....but wanted to let you know that I completely get what you are saying. My H is also in the Army and because his A was during a TDY to the states when we were overseas, anything having to do with TDY's triggers me BIG time. The ACU had just become the mandatory uniform right before H went to that particular TDY, so the current uniform triggers me as well. It makes me sick to my stomach that the OW thought it was so sexy to see H in his uniform and constantly complimented him when he was in it.

We as spouses are the ones who deal with the "every days" of the military life...the good, the bad, and the ugly. It seems really unfair that these women think of it as a novelty. A sexy soldier for them to conquer. Ugh, makes me so angry!

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know you are not alone and send you virtual hugs. Hang in there hun. Take deep breaths and maybe try to slowly change your thinking about the uniform itself. Slowly try to re-associate the uniform with just your H, and NOT the OW. I know that is a lot easier said than done, but I'd hate for you to have to trigger EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. That is just not fair to you.

Me: 32
FWH: 32
Together 16 years, met in HS.
"Sort of" Dday 2/28/06

True Dday 5/2/2012..it all came out
R going very well

posts: 11   ·   registered: May. 3rd, 2013
id 6330938
default

onlyTHRUthePAIN ( new member #39161) posted at 9:22 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2013

Oh, and Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day!!!

Me: 32
FWH: 32
Together 16 years, met in HS.
"Sort of" Dday 2/28/06

True Dday 5/2/2012..it all came out
R going very well

posts: 11   ·   registered: May. 3rd, 2013
id 6330988
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