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Topic: Scarlet Letter A

libertyrocks
♀ 38924
Member # 38924

Posted: 12:16 PM, May 10th (Friday), 2013

I have a 3 hour roundtrip commute to and from work, M-F, so I have a lot of time to think, alone. I'm part time trucker lady! jk. lol.

I can't help but to feel so bitter lately. I feel smug and saddened. It's horrible. I'm usually a pretty happy and chipper person. I feel like I have the letter A scarred on my face. I'm burning with shame and I didn't even do anything. I'm so embarassed. I've lost friends and family because of H's PA's.

I try to think of happy things, but they fade away and all I'm left with are ashes of what used to be. I guess I could be thankful we're all alive and happy and that I'm lucky I don't have to walk with my kids and take the bus...

It just sucks to be here. Sorry, little rant for the day.

Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)

Skan
♀ 35812
Member # 35812

Posted: 3:29 PM, May 10th (Friday), 2013

What a monster commute! It's got to be difficult, all of that time to think. Maybe you can try to get some books on CDs to listen to, to help for at least some of the drive? (((hugs)))

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 5467 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California

BrokenPsyche
♀ 37327
Member # 37327

Posted: 4:53 PM, May 10th (Friday), 2013

I'm a big fan of introspection, but when it turns to rumination--put a fork in me and call me done.

I love Skan's idea of books on cd. Something to distract you during your commute might help. A lot of libraries these days loan them out so you don't even have to lay out the money for the books on cd.

Me: BW
Him: fWH
DDay 10/1/2012
In R

Posts: 29 | Registered: Oct 2012

libertyrocks
♀ 38924
Member # 38924

Posted: 10:44 AM, May 13th (Monday), 2013

Good idea! Thanks. Gonna check libraries in my area right now.

Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)

Topic Posts: 4

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