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wildbananas posted 5/11/2013 13:40 PM

So the younger two bananas went on visitation this weekend... ex-asshat and BananaGirl13 have been having go-arounds with her dress and make up lately. He thinks it's excessive and hasn't been very nice about it. She's actually pretty tasteful about how she applies it but yeah, she ramped it up this weekend. I think she was trying to get him to accept her no matter how she looks but it surely backfired.

He just called, telling me he's very angry about how I let her dress and wear make up and he tried to "talk to her about it" (read: chewed her out) and she basically told him to go screw himself. He told me he was bringing her home and if that's how she was going to be, she was not welcome at his house anymore, especially as long as she looked like a "prostitute."

What. A. Fucking. Jackass.

On the bright side, it'll be better for her to not see him anymore, not if this is how it's going to be. And really, once she stops going, I can guarantee BananaGirl10 will stop, too.

I am so angry at him right now. I'm angry at his wife for encouraging it. And I'm so sad for my bananas. What kind of father treats his children like this? Alienates them to the point of not wanting anything to do with him? And lets them go?

She started IC through the school last week and I'm so glad... my poor girl. Her sperm donor, XSO, her brother (who walked away from all of us)... she's had nothing but men who have broken her heart.

[This message edited by wildbananas at 1:42 PM, May 11th (Saturday)]

MovingUpward posted 5/11/2013 13:49 PM

(((WB and bananas)))

miadianna posted 5/11/2013 14:02 PM

So sorry WB, for you and your family. Young girls that age experiment with makeup and clothes, it's normal. It's temporary, she's just a teenage girl. Amazes me how they care about how it "looks" without thinking about what they have done and how that "looks." She needs his love and acceptance, not criticism and ignorance.

It's so hard. My daughter is better off not seeing her dad and his OW too. She knows it, it just makes her angry and resentful but it's so wrong.

wildbananas posted 5/11/2013 14:08 PM

What kind of man calls his 13 year old a whore and a prostitute?

Thanks guys... it's sad but they're better off without him.

tesla posted 5/11/2013 14:20 PM

ohmygoodness! He said she looked like a prostitute and then brought her back??!! What the fucking fuck is wrong with this guy? Wow. My mouth literally dropped when I read that.

I'm so sorry for your daughter. I remember when I was a teenager, I would push any button I could find with my dad. Anything to get a reaction out of him...and I had an intact family with no issues.

What a stupid man.

((((wb and bg13))))

persevere posted 5/11/2013 14:22 PM

I'm so sorry wb, he's very short sighted, what an idiot.

nowiknow23 posted 5/11/2013 14:30 PM

(((((nanners and bananagirl13)))))

I'm sorry he's such an ass. Ugh. Who DOES that???

metamorphisis posted 5/11/2013 14:33 PM

Asshole.

She sure as hell just tested him to see how he would treat her and if he would be her dad and lay down some laws with love and he BLEW IT.
Every girl needs to hear "I will make sure you respect yourself because you are worth respect" and "You are too beautiful and I love you too much to present yourself in a way that people will take the wrong way".
But he decides the best way to protect her is to call her a prostitute. FAIL.

I would be beyond livid.

[This message edited by metamorphisis at 2:33 PM, May 11th (Saturday)]

caregiver9000 posted 5/11/2013 14:50 PM

(((hugs)))

and righteous mama bear indignation and fury!!!

I remember the turquoise blue eye shadow and black liner... and lace everything of the 80's. I didn't turn out to walk the streets then or now. It is completely normal and natural!

I hate when they reject their kids because they don't like how they reflect on their own shallow self image. Stupid asshat.

Maybe you can rent The Breakfast Club and pop popcorn. Teenage angst at its best.

Williesmom posted 5/11/2013 15:03 PM

What a dickhead.

metamorphisis posted 5/11/2013 15:18 PM

Maybe you can rent The Breakfast Club and pop popcorn. Teenage angst at its best.

Dd and I have started watching "My So Called Life" together. It's awesome. She gets to laugh at what we wore back then and she gets to see I was a teen too.. and I get it. I really do. It sounds silly but we're loving it.

Grab this negative experience, shake the crap out of it, and take it as an opportunity for the two of you to bond somehow.

[This message edited by metamorphisis at 3:19 PM, May 11th (Saturday)]

thyme2go posted 5/11/2013 16:37 PM

Having seen FB pics of BG13, I think she dresses quite kool like. His loss.

My youngest DD (now 17) no longer has any interest in seeing her mom (who now lives 280 miles away).

-t2g

NaiveAgain posted 5/11/2013 17:24 PM

(((wb & kids))) What a tool. I am so sorry she doesn't have a father who knows how to be a father, but I am so glad she has you.....he is an idiot but it is his loss.....

wildbananas posted 5/11/2013 18:46 PM

So, she and I were just talking:

Me: So, you should totally spoil me for Mother's Day tomorrow

BG: With your bank account

Me: Not cool!

BG: Well, I don't make a lot of money as a prostitute, so I really can't afford it.

It's too bad he doesn't appreciate her sense of humor. She's a pretty funny kid.

His loss indeed.

Thanks, all.

kernel posted 5/11/2013 18:52 PM

Geez, what an asshat he is. Any one with half a brain would get that she was pushing boundaries just to get a rise out of people, and the best response is to ignore it! It's what teenagers do, and make-up is pretty freaking mild compared to what she could have been doing (drugs, sex, robbery, vandalism). Calling his own daughter those kind of names is unforgiveable, and she'll never forget it. Good for her for using humor to get rid of the hurt and anger. I'm sorry you and your bananas have to put up with the jackass. ((wb & bunch))

gonnabe2016 posted 5/11/2013 20:08 PM

BG: Well, I don't make a lot of money as a prostitute, so I really can't afford it.

She's able to laugh about it, but......that shit's gotta hurt. Even if she knows he's a jerk, having her dad call her a prostitute and refuse to spend time with her......dang. That's some cold crap right there.

His loss. And one that he will come to regret one day.
*sigh* What a jerk.

Kajem posted 5/11/2013 20:28 PM

((((((WB))))) (((((((banana13))))))

She will come to learn that her life without him is better than it was with him.

More hugs,

K

MyTurnATL posted 5/11/2013 20:34 PM

Sounds like we were married to the same man. X treats our children with no respect and then gets pissed when they treat him the same way.

I'm sorry for your girls.

Jrazz posted 5/11/2013 23:39 PM

Ugh I'm so sad and mad for you and Banana13. Good thing your girls have mom of the century. They're all wonderful.

You tell DD13 I think she's funny and sweet and pretty and fine just the way she is. She can come visit aunt Jrazz anytime.

persevere posted 5/11/2013 23:46 PM

I'm thrilled she can joke about it, but sad that he made the ridiculous statement to begin with. #FUCKEDUPDAD #FAILASAPARENT

I'm also glad she has the relationship with you that she can joke about it - that means SO much.

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