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Newest Member: WOPR (61467)

User Topic: Distance
♀ 29912
Member # 29912
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We are in a good place most days (Dec. 09)... and for a long time we have been close.... but now I feel lonely again..... why?

He is working a lot of hours for his job.... which on one hand is good because we need the money right now.... on the other hand he is always tired... too tired to spend quality time with me many days.... just wants to sleep...
My job is highly stressful, too...
I am sad and down feeling there is a wall between us.... i don't think he is doing anything he shouldn't and he says it's not me, but the long hours he is working, and the 'common sense' side of me knows that he is exhausted (so am I)... but the emotional side feels lost.

I feel often on the verge of tears, lonely, and alone.... I have no urge really to go places... I want a happy and stable life. I want to feel important to him. Am I all alone in feeling like there is a distance between us? It doesn't help that he is working on Mother's Day this year... and that I won't get to see my kids (in another state- all grown up).....

Just feeling down on another holiday where all around me are people and commercials hyping up how we should feel loved and cared for as a mom... not feeling special or loved really at all.... just lonely... just venting....

Posts: 1308 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still lost
♀ 38317
Member # 38317
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry you are feeling so down. This is all really hard. I can relate to being a mother with all my kids far from home.

Your feelings are very normal. I understand. I am praying for you right now that you will feel comfort now and that things will work out well for you in your future.

I care.


Me BS 57
Him FWH 60
M 35 years
3 Adult kids

Posts: 133 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ 34770
Member # 34770
Default  Posted: 11:32 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wanting, I am lying in bed after midnight (Happy Mother's Day to us) and I just sent off an email to my H who is sleeping beside me.

I have sent him many emails, some very long letters telling him how I feel. My usual theme is that we don't talk enough. We do talk about everyday things. We eat meals together, drive places together, sometimes we'll go shopping together or walk our dog. We even have weekly dinners out together and of course we talk. But rarely will he ever bring up anything relating to feelings or emotions.

Our dday was almost 18 months ago. We talked quite a bit in the beginning and it brought us closer but now I am afraid things are slipping back into a routine where we don't make the time to check in with each other as to what we are feeling.

Anyway, in my email,,I told him that I fear this lack of connection. I felt sad that I had to express myself in an email because he is so tired that he can't stay awake to spend some alone time with me. I said that when we are together but not communicating, is when I feel at my loneliest.
So I can really relate to what you are saying.

Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

Posts: 1372 | Registered: Feb 2012
Topic Posts: 3

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