I found on my wifes laptop that a folder called G:Affair2 had been accessed. When I clicked on it to open I got the error message that G: was no longer valid...it was one of her USB ports.
Now, to be sure, I know what this folder contains because I created it. It has cell phone records and emails during my wifes A. It has has a picture of my wifes AP on it.
I sat on this information for a day...trying to do what my counselor has advised...ask in a non loaded way about such finds.
I, as calmly as I could, asked her if she had opened such a file on her computer.
She immediately lied, went as far as to say she didnt even know what the G: drive was on her laptop.
I told her I wasnt crazy...and would really appreciate her telling me the truth.
That was in the evening.
The following morning I sent her a one sentence email. I would like you when you are ready to tell me about G:Affair.
That was it.
The day came and went.
Just after my run and shower in the evening she called me into the bedroom with the laptop and a thumb drive.
She told me she lied. Told me she just accessed this to correct my dat on when our true DD was...it bothered her that I had the wrong date on my provile on SI for our DD.
I got mad...really mad. I went for another run...but only after I scolded her.
I get why she opened the downloaded cell records and opened them in Adobe. But she also opened the word documents...the ones containg erotic emails to her and the OM. She only said she that when she opened a few of the other documents she couldnt stand to read them.
Anyway....I am really wrestling with what to do.
I immediately stated that lying was not tolerable from this point forward. Previously, I just said unreported contact between my wife and her AP was a deal breaker (of course, I learned of this in January and did not do as I said I would do then).
So this is our delimma isnt it? We keep our integrity and file for D and model that for our children while depriving them of one both parents 50% of the time...or we give up our integrity and model THAT for our children but they get to have both parents 100% of the time.
I am praying on this now. I am not sure what God wants me to do. He hates divorce and instructs us to let his grace and mercy shine from within us. But then His one exception to this is adultery.
I too am struggling really hard on this Hopeful95.
God be with us both.
My problem now is