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Custody question

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rumorhasit posted 5/12/2013 00:49 AM

Talked to DDs mom today. While he hasn't made threats, she fears that he will take DD from school. That one day she will go to pick her up and she won't be there.

They have a CS agreement but nothing legally decided about custody. DD lives primarily with her mom, but has WXBFs last name (they were never married). So she doesn't think she can tell the school not to let him take her.

If there is no custody arrangment but the custodial parent has concerns, can they do anything to protect the child prior to filing for custody?

Catwoman posted 5/12/2013 05:57 AM

Short answer: no.

She needs to get a custody agreement ASAP. We have a member here who was in the same situation and her baby's father took the child and made her sign paperwork every time she wanted to se him.

Nothing to fool around with--she needs to get a legally recognized custody agreement NOW.

Cat

Fooled Me Twice posted 5/12/2013 06:20 AM

What Cat said above - my atty told me she has had clients that have waited at the bus stop and both parents would be there waiting for the kids to hop off and whoever literally grabbed them first would take them. You don't want it to get to that. That's not best for anyone, especially the kids.

Fortunately for me, my STBXWH hasn't really wanted DD that much so it wasn't a huge concern for me. Some EX's do this though just to get back at the other parent - very sad.

tesla posted 5/12/2013 07:20 AM

No. She needs a custody agreement.

I was very concerned that my ex-shat would take off with my son (he tends to do irrational, impulsive things). I made sure that I filed and had primary custody of my son. That way, if he ever tries something, I have legal recourse.

rumorhasit posted 5/12/2013 10:39 AM

Darn. Thank you, I will pass the info along to her and tell her to file asap. So glad DS is too little for school.

JessicaFL127 posted 5/13/2013 06:48 AM

I have sole custody and the school informed me that it doesn't matter, they give creepy xh any info he wants and he can pick up anytime. Very frustrating.

rumorhasit posted 5/14/2013 01:12 AM

He showed up at lunchtime at DDs school again today (2nd time)

I understand the school can't turn him away but you'd think they'd express concern over the affect this has on DD. I hate that she is trying to concentrate in school and is having to wonder if her dad is gonna show up at lunch. School should be a safe place for children not a place of unease.

I'm really gonna push the custody issue w her mom. She can't afford the fees but there are waivers you can try for... ugh, why can't he just be a grown up??

Nature_Girl posted 5/14/2013 02:30 AM

I have sole custody and the school informed me that it doesn't matter, they give creepy xh any info he wants and he can pick up anytime. Very frustrating.

t/j - That doesn't sound right. If you have sole custody, then you have the right to determine who takes your child.

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