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Why Should I Expect More?

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Dadtryingtocope posted 5/12/2013 10:26 AM

So here it is Mother's Day at 11:20 AM. My EW was supposed to pick up her kids for Mother's Day by 9AM per the custody agreement. I texted her at 9:30 and said "Your late". Her reply "I didn't realize I was supposed to get them this early. I'm out of town and on my way back. I'll pick them up on my way through".

Really? So you were too busy to enjoy Mother's Day with your kids? You violated the custody agreement. It specifically states you have the kids 9AM to 9PM.

Now not that I want to get rid of my kids. They can stay all day for all I care. But her continued selfishness just amazes me. There are so many Mom's out there that would love to have their kids on Mother's Day. You were supposed to have them all day and you decided to go out of town probably on a drinking/partying event. Irritating. I'm half tempted to load them in the car and take off for a few hours and tell her I'll let you know when you can get the kids.

gahurts posted 5/12/2013 11:08 AM

I hear ya Dad.

xWW just picked up the kids around 20 minutes ago. She said she would be here around 11. I would have thought she would get here by 10 to have more time with them as I get them back tonight but...

DSS (her son) is going to 6 Flags with his friends and one of their moms. There is a special today that Moms get in free with season pass holders. He wants his mother to come but then she'd have to pay for the other three so instead of staying home with her he is going with his friends. I guess she taught him her biggest trait - selfishness. And not she gets a taste of it for herself.

ETA: Hang in there - You are the better person and the kids know that!

[This message edited by gahurts at 11:08 AM, May 12th (Sunday)]

IrishLass518 posted 5/12/2013 12:08 PM

I couldn't imagine not being there on time to pick up my son. Traffic and extenuating circumstances would be the only things making me a bit late. Mother's day is as much for the kids as it is for the mom's. They want to do something for/with Mom. Just like they do on Father's day for dad. I find it sad that some parents don't get that

nuance posted 5/12/2013 12:51 PM

If she's drinking hopefully she's not driving?

Dadtryingtocope posted 5/12/2013 14:07 PM

She was out of town. Probably drinking Fri/Sat nights. Now stuck in traffic, we've had a number of road/bridge problems in PA last 3 days. So now she won't be back probably until dinner. It's one thing if you get held up in traffic coming back and need me to watch the kids. It's another thing if you failed to read the custody agreement and didn't even know or acted like you didn't know the kids were yours at 9AM.

Stupid Twit. Not even I'm sorry or anything. What if I had made plans for the day figuring I didn't have the kids? Complete selfishness. As I said I don't mind having the kids but I expect to be notified in advance.

I just keep making notes of all this. Someday I will use it.

tryingagain74 posted 5/12/2013 14:12 PM

Yep-- document everything.

I told STBX to drop the kids at 11:00 am, and he wrote this morning to say that DS #1 was sick with a stomach virus. He offered to keep them longer so I could have more time to myself, but I wanted them to come home. Even though we're stuck here, and DS #1 is sitting in front of TV like a zombie, I'd still rather have them with me (on any day-- not just a "special" day) than away from me. I had to run to the grocery store this morning to buy saltines and juice, and I was in a panic because I thought I'd be a couple of minutes late getting home!

Keep being a great dad, DTTC. Your kids are slowly but surely going to discover what a dope your X is, and when they do, at least they'll have your reassuring presence to help them through.

SBB posted 5/12/2013 15:28 PM

The sad clown didn't want the girls last fathers day. And I quote "It doesn't mean anything to me and I doubt it means anything to them".

He spent the day with OWUmpteen instead. I suppose she only about 3 years older than the child he almost had 20-odd years ago.

How can you NOT want to spend the day with your kids on Mothers/Fathers Day??

Dadtryingtocope posted 5/12/2013 16:04 PM

She finally showed up at 4:30 and my oldest did not want to go. Sat on couch and cried saying he doesn't want to go. He fabricates some stuff about her but sat there and says she is mean and yells at him. So now I am forced to get him ready and out the door. I told her too bad, if it takes me 1/2 hour to get him up and out too bad. You should of been on time. She finally left and said she would come back later for him. So she will have almost zero time with her son on Mother's Day. Unbelievable. Wish she would really see her kids and their hurt. They don't like her house, why would they. Safer, more fun, loving household here. Sorry but I'm not forcing him out the door if he doesn't want to go.

Needless to say all my plans for the day while the kids were gone are out the window. Not that it matters as I would rather have the kids.

Also I should of mentioned, since she decided to go out of town for fun, she missed her daughters soccer game Saturday too. Sent me a text an hour before the game, "tell DD1 I won't be at her game and good luck".

Um, no, sorry I'm not your messenger for the kids. Muppet.

[This message edited by Dadtryingtocope at 4:04 PM, May 12th (Sunday)]

Dadtryingtocope posted 5/12/2013 19:51 PM

My last entry on this. So she finally shows up at 4:45 to pick up her kids. My oldest would not go so she agreed with him he could stay until 6:45. She returned at 6:45 and he would not go with her. He stood by her car and cried that he didn't want to go. I refused to force him into the car. She finally got pissed and tore out of here and left him with me. Welcome to the reality check. Here is your 11 year old Asperger's son who doesn't like being with you. He had a great weekend with me. No tantrums, no issues. He got his share of video game time and had time w/o video games (she always says I just let him play as much as he wants - but that's not true).

So she failed to pick up her kids on time as per the agreement. She failed to attend her daughters soccer game. Her son did not want to go home with her. Tell me again why I am paying her all this money monthly? Violation of custody agreement - again. Your kids don't want to go to your house. I mean WTF? This is ridiculous.

Anyways he is staying with me tonight. I will take him to school tomorrow. He is back with me tomorrow again. So maybe she'll actually see her son on Tuesday.

PurpleBirch posted 5/12/2013 20:20 PM

I don't understand it either. My oldest was all like "today we get to play games together mum. And father's day I get to play games all day with daddy". We made granola bars and built a giant duplo castle in his room. We didn't have time to play monopoly, but I plan on that for after school tomorrow. I couldn't imagine missing that on purpose.

Anyway, you sound like you're doing a good job. If it's one thing I've learned (from another forum with blended families) is to document. Hopefully things get better for the kids (and you as well).

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