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savvy posted 5/12/2013 14:01 PM

I don't know what it is but I can't stop crying today. Maybe because it's mothers day and everyone is busy with their family obligations and here I sit. My son is home from college and we did do breakfast with his girl and her mom (who is divorced). My daughter is still away at school not due home for a couple weeks. ( I sure miss her) My Wh called first thing this morning and said Happy Mothers day which was nice but it hurts. We should be together our family on a day such as today. I am so heartbroken I feel like I will never get past this. I am no good at being alone. I don't know how to make it through this, I have a couple of good friends that have been great but they are married and have their own lives. How much longer can I deal with this pain I don't know.

Tiredofthepain posted 5/12/2013 14:14 PM

{{HUGS}} This is a very hard day for me also since I miss my mother so very much. On top of the unbearable pain and mind movies that won't stop I am losing it myself today.

Here's to hoping we both feel better and call one of your friends to talk to, I am sure they could make a little time for you today.

Brokenheart777 posted 5/12/2013 15:19 PM

Im sorry Savy. I understand that today must be incredibly hard for you. Just know that we hear you. Keep posting. Wish I had more to say. Keep talking to people. You are strong and you are doing the right thing being in the 180.

Lalagirl posted 5/12/2013 15:37 PM

((((savvy))))

I know you are hurting terribly, but wanted to wish you a Happy Mother's Day. As hard as it is to do this, and for all that has been taken from you, try to remember that this day is yours as a mother - no one can take that from you.

As Broken said, keep posting - you need to let out your pain. We'll help you through as best we can.

Hugs,

Lala

savvy posted 5/12/2013 17:55 PM

Thank you all for the support. It has been a very hard day. Like most days lately. I just want to feel normal again, but I guess thats a long time coming. I took a walk down to the beach and all I could see is whole families. It hurts so much. Does anyone else feel like they are the only single person around? I know I'm not but it feels that way. I feel so rejected and alone even though I know I'm not alone. It does help to come on here, Though I do wish none of us had to be here.

Brokenheart777 posted 5/12/2013 18:01 PM

Savy,
I remember a few weeks after Dday I had to fly to MN for a business trip. I remember walking around the airports with my headphone in just feeling like I wasn't in reality. Waiting for my flight to board I'd just sit there, feeling empty and questioning everyone while fighting back random tears. The feeling of emotional emptiness and disconnect is a strange one but it is normal to feel this way. Time Savy, time is what will help. I'm glad that you are posting

lost100 posted 5/12/2013 18:17 PM

Savvy, I wish you all the best this is such a dreadful time for you. When I have times of clarity I see this journey through pain as a 'tunnel of misery' we have to go through it; at different stages it is tougher than other stages but the pain you feel today has pushed you further through the tunnel to finding a better life. I am in my tunnel too and it is a horrible journey to get where we need to go

.“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.”

cheerless posted 5/12/2013 18:22 PM

Hang in there Savvy. It's a day-by-day (sometimes hour-by-hour) hellish process. Keep seeking out support on SI and IRL.

Sending you strength from down south.

h0pe4ul posted 5/13/2013 13:10 PM

I'm sorry you had such a difficult day yesterday, Savvy.

I hope today is much better for you!

((((((Big Hugs to You))))))

stilltrying2025 posted 5/13/2013 14:10 PM

So sorry to hear you had a bad mother's day. I didn't even get a happy mother's day from WH. I guess you, like me, just have to hold on to our children and keep going forward. I feel your pain and hurt. I hope you are having a better day today!

savvy posted 5/13/2013 15:15 PM

Thank you I am sorry that you all are feeling this pain I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, except the Ow! I feel she deserves it. that maybe shameful of me to say but I really hate her, she knew me, knew we were married. And yes he is just as much to blame if not more.!!

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