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BrighterFuture (original poster member #38914) posted at 12:23 AM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
For those with children with the ex WS, did he wish you a happy mother's day or send a card or a gift? My exfiance didn't, but that was expected and it doesn't bother me.
Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!
"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.
kernel ( member #27035) posted at 12:25 AM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
My X texted me a message last year, and I did not take it well. I think he may have learned from that as I haven't heard from him today, but it's not over yet.
eta: My kids are adults. I will not do a thing for him for Father's Day. The man I had children with doesn't exist any longer.
[This message edited by kernel at 8:19 AM, May 13th (Monday)]
"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."
gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 12:26 AM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
Yea, here's what I got this morning: "Thank you for our three awesome kids. Happy mothers day."
I didn't respond because I just didn't want to *go there* in my head.....even for a thx or your welcome.
Whatever.
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
BrighterFuture (original poster member #38914) posted at 12:31 AM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
Lol! On the other hand, do you do anything for them on Father's Day? I don't intend to do anything for him.
Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!
"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.
gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 12:32 AM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
I take the kids to get him a card and small present.
From me personally, no. I can't bring myself to acknowledge that day to him.
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 1:08 AM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
RUFKM? He did his best to ruin this day for me when we were together. He sure as hell isn't going to even acknowledge my existence now. He's still angry that I forced him to become a father.
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
roughroadahead ( member #36060) posted at 1:16 AM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
Yup. Got a text for happy mothers day from whatever godforsaken back country camp site he is biking through. He also had a card and a gift cert from the kids. I responded to the text with "thanks".
I also had the kids call my MIL. She wasn't home. Oh well...
BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism
BrighterFuture (original poster member #38914) posted at 1:29 AM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
Nature-Girl, just like you he ruined the 2 mother's days when we were together for 2 years. The first one I was pregnant with my first child by him, he said I wasn't a mother yet. The second one, he put a status update on his fb wall about how great his mom is but nothing about me. He was never quite happy with any of my pregnancies. He wanted an abortion but I refused due to my religious beliefs. That explains his attitude. I know my children will honor me when they get older.
Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!
"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.
gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 2:10 AM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
I also had the kids call my MIL
Huh. Does it make me a bad person because I didn't even THINK about doing this? Actually hadn't even thought about her until just now.....
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
PhoenixRisen ( member #35912) posted at 2:17 AM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
Nope
no text
not even a word when I saw him in person.
he didn't organize any gifts from the kids - which I thought he would. I did get their delightful school made pressies and their eager faces and hugs!, but I thought his lack of effort was stupid since fathers day is when school is out. So if I do nothing in June he gets nothing.
(I'll still do something... I'm teaching our kids how to behave and that is what it is about).
He did seem totally pissed at me today so I'm thinking he forgot his own mother (when M sent her flowers, but no longer (another story)) and he is probably blaming me for his own lack of forethought.
-am I wrong to smile at that?!?
LeftBehind08 ( member #38705) posted at 2:26 AM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
Ex did not. However, he took the kiddos out and bought the card they picked out.
Sometimes it's lonely, Sometimes it's only me & the shadows that fill this room...
But it's a great day to be alive & the sun still shines when I close my eyes ~Travis Tritt
sunshine226 ( member #38851) posted at 2:34 AM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
no, nothing here either, got a call last year wishing me happy mothers day but not this year
hes with OW, and her kids spoiling her with a meal of fresh lobster, that was our tradition,
But I had my kids with me and my new baby grandson so i had a good day while they were here
As for fathers day, the kids didnt acknowledge it for him last year, although i did send him a text wishing him a happy fathers day. Our kids are older and they are very upset with what WH has done to our family so they dont show him any love or respect, sad but true
Not sure what I will do this year, depends on what he does regarding today, he might actually text me tomorrow, seems he sends best wishes the day after, first Christmas, New Years, and my birthday. Surprisingly Easter was right on time with a "I wish i was with you right now, I miss you so much, I wish you didnt tell me not to come back| (on March 22, i called him at work and told him that i dont want to see him anymore as long as OW is a part of his life, that was over 7 weeks ago)
Looks like hes happy where he is, why is beyond me, she is opposite of me, bossy, demanding, etc, and has told WH sooooo many lies about herself and about things me or DD did (which we didnt, like making phone calls to her, saying stuff we said but didnt say)
Shes a real piece of work, but he stays, and today he spent it with her and kids that he has no biological connection to, she is not a mom because of WH, 2 other men had the misfortune of that honour, and they have nothing to do with their kids, makes me wonder if they saw her for what she really is
Me-BS (44)
Him-WS (47)
DDay 1/1/2012, common law for 22 1/2 years when he began A in September 2011
Status: moving on without him
solus sto ( member #30989) posted at 3:02 AM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
No. He texted the kids yesterday to see if they had plans for me. When both told them they were waiting for payday, he said, "Oh. Okay."
I am not sure why he bothered, other than to make sure my day was as crappy as it always was when he was around.
(It wasn't crappy. The kids are delightful. But why call your kids to make sure they're taking care of Mother's Day, if you have no intention of helping them? He's so bizarre.)
And yes, until now I have made sure that Father's Day has been observed.
I won't be doing so this year. The kids are both very disenchanted with him. If they choose to observe the day, fine. But I will not orchestrate anything. He's spent 26 years being an asshole on Mother's Day. I abdicate.
[This message edited by solus sto at 9:04 PM, May 12th (Sunday)]
BS-me, 62; X-irrelevant; we’re D & NC. "So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tennessee Williams
BrighterFuture (original poster member #38914) posted at 7:22 AM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
Happy Mother's Day to all of you wonderful ladies. Your children will always appreciate you. That's all that matters. Hugs to all of you!
Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!
"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.
AussieMum ( member #36579) posted at 1:19 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
He had the kids on Sat and bought a card and box of chocolates to give to me - no real thought put into it and certainly nothing personal.
On Sunday, my son had a football match and STBX was there with his troll and he just ignored me - walked right past me.
Ah well, my kids love me and made a fuss of me on Mother's Day. I don't need or want that POS's empty platitudes.
Hope all you amazing mums had a good day.
Me 47
ExH 51
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS13 & DD8)
Separated Jan 13. Divorced Jun 14
macakipa ( member #33735) posted at 1:20 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
M -25 years, T - 31 years, 4 children
Dday October 8, 2011 - Multiple PAs and ONs
Divorced 1-8-13
"When you give a lot of importance to someone in your life, you lose your importance in their life."
Ashland13 ( member #38378) posted at 1:30 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
I get very nice and simple gifts from DD if STBXH takes her shopping. So far she's honored every occassion since he left. If I thank him (I was taught politeness above all else) he makes certain to tell me "It was all her and just his money."
I have a struggle letting go, as you all know, so will do the same with her for father's day. It's hard to let go of 20 years and if I take myself out of the picture, I suppose in his own selfish way he tries to be a father.
Yep, for this baby he asked several times if I was "sure I wanted to keep it." After several cows I had about it, he's accepted the baby and now talks about names and apts.
My core beliefs could not let me part with this baby coming, no matter how hard I know it will be. He already robbed me of one major core belief-thou shall not commit adultery-so all I have left is the baby coming from that point of view. I know I didn't to anything, but was "touched" by it.
Sorry for the lengthy post and belated Happy Mother's Day.
Ashland 13
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
-George Washington
hurting2much ( member #25643) posted at 1:37 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
XWH sent me a card in the mail using my married name. I changed my name back to my maiden name over a month ago (that struck me as very odd). In the card, he wrote how much respect he has for me. Really?...respect for me? As always, he can write/say the right things, but he can't live that way.
I thought it was very strange he should send me a card.
ButterflyGirl ( member #38377) posted at 2:14 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
Sorry for everyone who has heard this story already, but I got into a bit of an email war with STBX over Mother's Day with him refusing me having them since Sunday is normally his day and "It's not a real holiday." I forwarded everything to my attorney, who talked to his attorney, who told him it was a bad idea to refuse me Mother's Day, so he sent me an email saying "I don't want to fight anymore. If it means that much to you, you can have them for Mother's Day." So I was charged a little over a hundred bucks for something that should have been obvious. The morning of Mother's Day, I get an email from his saying, "Just wanted to say Happy Mother's Day! Hope you enjoy your time with the boys." I sent back...crickets. Yeah, fuck you asshole..
I did send flowers to him mom. This is a complicated relationship. She wants to support her son, but he doesn't respect her AT ALL; and when they fight and he refuses letting her see the kids, she goes through me, so we keep our relationship strictly about the kids now. She was a wonderful mother-in-law and is great with my kids, so I make every effort to keep in touch with her. Really wish I was co-parenting with her instead..
And no, I don't believe I will be doing anything for Father's Day. He doesn't deserve it..
TrustGone ( member #36654) posted at 2:25 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
XWH#1 did not acknowledge the day. He always left it up to his mother to take care of my son's Mother's Day to me. They are now estranged and have been for a few years. Now son is grown. He did call me. He is in the military. Ex-MIL did send me a nice card and I will call her today. I did not send her anything as I try to keep as much distance as possible.
WH#2 and I have no children together but he did take me and his parents out for lunch and he bought his Mom a nice plant and I got her a card from us. My step-son called me. It was actually a very enjoyable day for me.
XWH#2-No longer my monkey Divorced 8/15, Now married to a wonderful man.
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"
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