"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

BrighterFuture posted 5/12/2013 18:23 PM

For those with children with the ex WS, did he wish you a happy mother's day or send a card or a gift? My exfiance didn't, but that was expected and it doesn't bother me.

kernel posted 5/12/2013 18:25 PM

My X texted me a message last year, and I did not take it well. I think he may have learned from that as I haven't heard from him today, but it's not over yet.

eta: My kids are adults. I will not do a thing for him for Father's Day. The man I had children with doesn't exist any longer.

[This message edited by kernel at 8:19 AM, May 13th (Monday)]

gonnabe2016 posted 5/12/2013 18:26 PM

Yea, here's what I got this morning: "Thank you for our three awesome kids. Happy mothers day."

I didn't respond because I just didn't want to *go there* in my head.....even for a thx or your welcome.

Whatever.

BrighterFuture posted 5/12/2013 18:31 PM

Lol! On the other hand, do you do anything for them on Father's Day? I don't intend to do anything for him.

gonnabe2016 posted 5/12/2013 18:32 PM

I take the kids to get him a card and small present.

From me personally, no. I can't bring myself to acknowledge that day to him.

Nature_Girl posted 5/12/2013 19:08 PM

RUFKM? He did his best to ruin this day for me when we were together. He sure as hell isn't going to even acknowledge my existence now. He's still angry that I forced him to become a father.

roughroadahead posted 5/12/2013 19:16 PM

Yup. Got a text for happy mothers day from whatever godforsaken back country camp site he is biking through. He also had a card and a gift cert from the kids. I responded to the text with "thanks".

I also had the kids call my MIL. She wasn't home. Oh well...

BrighterFuture posted 5/12/2013 19:29 PM

Nature-Girl, just like you he ruined the 2 mother's days when we were together for 2 years. The first one I was pregnant with my first child by him, he said I wasn't a mother yet. The second one, he put a status update on his fb wall about how great his mom is but nothing about me. He was never quite happy with any of my pregnancies. He wanted an abortion but I refused due to my religious beliefs. That explains his attitude. I know my children will honor me when they get older.

gonnabe2016 posted 5/12/2013 20:10 PM

I also had the kids call my MIL

Huh. Does it make me a bad person because I didn't even THINK about doing this? Actually hadn't even thought about her until just now.....

PhoenixRisen posted 5/12/2013 20:17 PM

Nope
no text
not even a word when I saw him in person.
he didn't organize any gifts from the kids - which I thought he would. I did get their delightful school made pressies and their eager faces and hugs!, but I thought his lack of effort was stupid since fathers day is when school is out. So if I do nothing in June he gets nothing.
(I'll still do something... I'm teaching our kids how to behave and that is what it is about).

He did seem totally pissed at me today so I'm thinking he forgot his own mother (when M sent her flowers, but no longer (another story)) and he is probably blaming me for his own lack of forethought.
-am I wrong to smile at that?!?

LeftBehind08 posted 5/12/2013 20:26 PM

Ex did not. However, he took the kiddos out and bought the card they picked out.

sunshine226 posted 5/12/2013 20:34 PM

no, nothing here either, got a call last year wishing me happy mothers day but not this year

hes with OW, and her kids spoiling her with a meal of fresh lobster, that was our tradition,

But I had my kids with me and my new baby grandson so i had a good day while they were here

As for fathers day, the kids didnt acknowledge it for him last year, although i did send him a text wishing him a happy fathers day. Our kids are older and they are very upset with what WH has done to our family so they dont show him any love or respect, sad but true

Not sure what I will do this year, depends on what he does regarding today, he might actually text me tomorrow, seems he sends best wishes the day after, first Christmas, New Years, and my birthday. Surprisingly Easter was right on time with a "I wish i was with you right now, I miss you so much, I wish you didnt tell me not to come back| (on March 22, i called him at work and told him that i dont want to see him anymore as long as OW is a part of his life, that was over 7 weeks ago)

Looks like hes happy where he is, why is beyond me, she is opposite of me, bossy, demanding, etc, and has told WH sooooo many lies about herself and about things me or DD did (which we didnt, like making phone calls to her, saying stuff we said but didnt say)

Shes a real piece of work, but he stays, and today he spent it with her and kids that he has no biological connection to, she is not a mom because of WH, 2 other men had the misfortune of that honour, and they have nothing to do with their kids, makes me wonder if they saw her for what she really is

solus sto posted 5/12/2013 21:02 PM

No. He texted the kids yesterday to see if they had plans for me. When both told them they were waiting for payday, he said, "Oh. Okay."

I am not sure why he bothered, other than to make sure my day was as crappy as it always was when he was around.

(It wasn't crappy. The kids are delightful. But why call your kids to make sure they're taking care of Mother's Day, if you have no intention of helping them? He's so bizarre.)

And yes, until now I have made sure that Father's Day has been observed.

I won't be doing so this year. The kids are both very disenchanted with him. If they choose to observe the day, fine. But I will not orchestrate anything. He's spent 26 years being an asshole on Mother's Day. I abdicate.

[This message edited by solus sto at 9:04 PM, May 12th (Sunday)]

BrighterFuture posted 5/13/2013 01:22 AM

Happy Mother's Day to all of you wonderful ladies. Your children will always appreciate you. That's all that matters. Hugs to all of you!

AussieMum posted 5/13/2013 07:19 AM

He had the kids on Sat and bought a card and box of chocolates to give to me - no real thought put into it and certainly nothing personal.

On Sunday, my son had a football match and STBX was there with his troll and he just ignored me - walked right past me.

Ah well, my kids love me and made a fuss of me on Mother's Day. I don't need or want that POS's empty platitudes.

Hope all you amazing mums had a good day.

macakipa posted 5/13/2013 07:20 AM

Nope. Nada. Zilch.

Ashland13 posted 5/13/2013 07:30 AM

I get very nice and simple gifts from DD if STBXH takes her shopping. So far she's honored every occassion since he left. If I thank him (I was taught politeness above all else) he makes certain to tell me "It was all her and just his money."

I have a struggle letting go, as you all know, so will do the same with her for father's day. It's hard to let go of 20 years and if I take myself out of the picture, I suppose in his own selfish way he tries to be a father.

Yep, for this baby he asked several times if I was "sure I wanted to keep it." After several cows I had about it, he's accepted the baby and now talks about names and apts.

My core beliefs could not let me part with this baby coming, no matter how hard I know it will be. He already robbed me of one major core belief-thou shall not commit adultery-so all I have left is the baby coming from that point of view. I know I didn't to anything, but was "touched" by it.

Sorry for the lengthy post and belated Happy Mother's Day.

hurting2much posted 5/13/2013 07:37 AM

XWH sent me a card in the mail using my married name. I changed my name back to my maiden name over a month ago (that struck me as very odd). In the card, he wrote how much respect he has for me. Really?...respect for me? As always, he can write/say the right things, but he can't live that way.

I thought it was very strange he should send me a card.

ButterflyGirl posted 5/13/2013 08:14 AM

Sorry for everyone who has heard this story already, but I got into a bit of an email war with STBX over Mother's Day with him refusing me having them since Sunday is normally his day and "It's not a real holiday." I forwarded everything to my attorney, who talked to his attorney, who told him it was a bad idea to refuse me Mother's Day, so he sent me an email saying "I don't want to fight anymore. If it means that much to you, you can have them for Mother's Day." So I was charged a little over a hundred bucks for something that should have been obvious. The morning of Mother's Day, I get an email from his saying, "Just wanted to say Happy Mother's Day! Hope you enjoy your time with the boys." I sent back...crickets. Yeah, fuck you asshole..

I did send flowers to him mom. This is a complicated relationship. She wants to support her son, but he doesn't respect her AT ALL; and when they fight and he refuses letting her see the kids, she goes through me, so we keep our relationship strictly about the kids now. She was a wonderful mother-in-law and is great with my kids, so I make every effort to keep in touch with her. Really wish I was co-parenting with her instead..

And no, I don't believe I will be doing anything for Father's Day. He doesn't deserve it..

TrustGone posted 5/13/2013 08:25 AM

XWH#1 did not acknowledge the day. He always left it up to his mother to take care of my son's Mother's Day to me. They are now estranged and have been for a few years. Now son is grown. He did call me. He is in the military. Ex-MIL did send me a nice card and I will call her today. I did not send her anything as I try to keep as much distance as possible.

WH#2 and I have no children together but he did take me and his parents out for lunch and he bought his Mom a nice plant and I got her a card from us. My step-son called me. It was actually a very enjoyable day for me.