I liken this place to a vast space between the wasteland that was that relationship and my NB.
I sometimes get lost in this new, unfamiliar terrain and kind of miss the toxic 'normal' I had gotten used to (better the devil you know, apparently) but then when I look ahead I see the lush green shoots of my NB and it soothes me.
We were so focussed on these Ms and these spouses for so long its weird to not be busily in the crazy.
I was busily bored for so long that sitting serenely in the sunshine having a moment of bliss used to feel like I was wasting time.
But then I remember - I have all the time in the world now that I only have to focus on me and my girls.