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Reconciliation :
"Hall Pass"

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 Mack9512 (original poster member #38619) posted at 12:41 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2013

This morning, while I was getting ready for work, my H turned from the news to lighter fare on the TV. He landed on the movie "Hall Pass". If any of you are unfamiliar with the movie, it is about a wife giving her husband permission, i.e. a hall pass, to have an affair. Within 5 minutes of turning the movie on, there was a scene where the wife was talking to a handsome male "friend" about everything that was wrong with her marriage, how she was unhappy, her life was not what she envisioned, etc, and then she miraculously realizes that she gave her husband the ‘pass’ because in reality SHE wanted a free pass. During her soliloquy of all of the reasons why she wanted her free pass I turned to my H and asked "does this sound familiar?" He looked me dead in the eye and said “Yes, VERY familiar. While I was the one on the other end of this conversation I never realized how desperate and disgusting the entire thing was.” All I could say was ‘good answer.’ Needless to say, he changed the channel.

"If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello." - Paulo Coehlo

posts: 440   ·   registered: Mar. 4th, 2013   ·   location: East Coast
id 6333573
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5yrsout ( member #32109) posted at 12:43 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2013

wow. VERY good answer.

Yay!

DD 5/15/2006
Found this site 2011
Struggled 10 l-o-n-g yrs (for the kids)
S 2016
D 2018
Happy now.

posts: 798   ·   registered: May. 9th, 2011
id 6333574
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Pudding ( member #37168) posted at 1:06 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2013

I am finding that just above everything on TV is on the same theme about infidelity. I trigger nearly every night and FWH does not relate at all. Recently I have started pointing it out to him and then last night he said "you're right. It's everywhere" as a particularly painful episode for him came up.

I am beginning to think we should stop watching TV. Even if it is. Nothing about infidelity it can trigger Even an archaeological programme the other day triggered me as they visited somewhere we had been together when he was in the A and had not yet told me. I had thought we had had a great time, but now I knew he was lying to me then.

There was a TV cop programme the other day, when the suspect said he couldn't remember what happened 33 years ago. FWh said he would have difficulty too. I said he would remember if it was something significant, but then he supposedly had trouble remembering what happened during the A too.

posts: 281   ·   registered: Oct. 18th, 2012   ·   location: UK
id 6333587
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blakesteele ( member #38044) posted at 1:21 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2013

Since an A was brought into our home I have really noticed just how much of this there is in society and how lightly it is viewed.

I am happy that you got the answer you did from your husband. It is a good sign he is committed to his marriage to you.

God continue to be with you.

ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred.

posts: 5835   ·   registered: Jan. 8th, 2013   ·   location: Central Missouri
id 6333601
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Theradin ( member #38518) posted at 1:51 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2013

Wow, I totally forgot about that movie. But once you mentioned it, it all came back. Interestingly, when I saw that movie with my WW, it was prior to me learning about her EA/PA, which started last September (2012). I wonder what she was thinking as she watched it with me, knowing she had been engaging in an A-like behaviors at the time. Though, I can say, that watching it without knowing about her EA/PA, I was just as "clueless" as most all others who haven't (yet) been traumatized by infidelity. I guess I was probably in a light-spirited mood, watching a silly comedy. Yes, I DO remember those days..!

BH (me): 35
WW: 34
1 kid (7 y/o)
multiple affairs spanning our entire 11-year marriage
multiple d-days over the last 3 years (most recently: 1/3/2016)
divorced and finally released from this prison: 2/26/2016

posts: 199   ·   registered: Feb. 21st, 2013
id 6333624
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