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savvy posted 5/13/2013 08:36 AM

My Wh told me this morning he is going to go to a therapist. I am happy and worried about this. He needs to talk with someone about issues he has with his father and work and of course us, so its good. But what if they convince him to not try to reconcile? Do you think a therapist would do that, I don't know? why do I worry about this I am such a mess.

[This message edited by savvy at 8:37 AM, May 13th (Monday)]

PeaceLove187 posted 5/13/2013 08:53 AM

Sweetie, my therapists had every reason in the world to tell me to leave my H but they didn't do it. Why in the world would they tell your H to leave a loyal wife? The therapist's goal is to lead you to an emotionally more healthy place so that you can make better decisions. You should be looking at this as a positive step, and really--how could things get any worse than a cheating husband?

If I remember your previous posts correctly you have an excessive fear of being alone--true? And you're getting therapy for that fear--true? There are FAR worse things than being divorced from a bum and my wish for you is that you learn that truth. Focus on yourself and learn to love YOU. Your d-day was really recent so you're allowed to be a mess but someday soon you'll start to get glimmers of light slipping through the gloom. You'll get moments of feeling almost decent, then maybe an hour or two of feeling decent. Then almost a full day. This will get better, with or without him.

Hugs.

savvy posted 5/13/2013 10:33 AM

Thank you PeaceLove I just guess I don't know what to feel yet, and I am getting therapy myself also. Maybe I want to reconcile just to make things normal again, which they never will be. I am doing a lot to focus on myself so I will just continue with that. He is the one who will be loosing everything and gaining nothing but freedom.

1Faith posted 5/13/2013 14:10 PM

They will help him understand why you chose to cheat in the first place.

Most therapists want you to answers your own questions not provide direction.

My hope is his is a good one and will help clear the fog in this head/heart.

Have you seen an IC yet? Please consider it. It will help you as well.

(((hugs)))

savvy posted 5/13/2013 15:17 PM

1Fatith yes I am seeing an IC. Only one session so far but looking forward to going back. I am truly hopeful it will help me clear my head a bit also so I know what is best for me and my children. As always thank you for support.

1Faith posted 5/13/2013 15:19 PM

Each and every tear you cry is counted by God, each and every pain you feel can be used for good.

Each time you become vulnerable to another, you open your life to new joys and wonders and each day that you suffer God has promised to repay you double.

Get through this accepting every feeling, every emotion, every consequence that comes upon you by trusting that it will somehow bring you to where you need to be.

Don’t beat yourself up, don’t think you can’t handle it, don’t think that you can’t forgive. Not forgiving only poisons your own soul. You CAN get through this stronger, better and more intact and whole than you were before. But you have to go through it you can’t step around it, or jump over it or circumvent/bypass the journey it’s the little steps, the one foot in front of the other the single step that begins the journey.