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Newest Member: silenceisnotgold (46036)

User Topic: told me he is seeking therapy
savvy
♀ 39102
Member # 39102
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My Wh told me this morning he is going to go to a therapist. I am happy and worried about this. He needs to talk with someone about issues he has with his father and work and of course us, so its good. But what if they convince him to not try to reconcile? Do you think a therapist would do that, I don't know? why do I worry about this I am such a mess.

[This message edited by savvy at 8:37 AM, May 13th (Monday)]


me-BS (49)
him-WH (49)
2 children 21 and 19
Together 30 years
Ow-(30)and she knew me knew he is married.
D-day 1 4/24/2013
D-day 2. 7/9/2013. Day after anniversary
D-day 3. 8/12/13.
Filing for divorce

Posts: 135 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: connecticut
PeaceLove187
♀ 33559
Member # 33559
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sweetie, my therapists had every reason in the world to tell me to leave my H but they didn't do it. Why in the world would they tell your H to leave a loyal wife? The therapist's goal is to lead you to an emotionally more healthy place so that you can make better decisions. You should be looking at this as a positive step, and really--how could things get any worse than a cheating husband?

If I remember your previous posts correctly you have an excessive fear of being alone--true? And you're getting therapy for that fear--true? There are FAR worse things than being divorced from a bum and my wish for you is that you learn that truth. Focus on yourself and learn to love YOU. Your d-day was really recent so you're allowed to be a mess but someday soon you'll start to get glimmers of light slipping through the gloom. You'll get moments of feeling almost decent, then maybe an hour or two of feeling decent. Then almost a full day. This will get better, with or without him.

Hugs.


BW--Me, 57
FWH--Him, 59
Married 35 years
Empty Nesters

Posts: 642 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Midwest
savvy
♀ 39102
Member # 39102
Default  Posted: 10:33 AM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you PeaceLove I just guess I don't know what to feel yet, and I am getting therapy myself also. Maybe I want to reconcile just to make things normal again, which they never will be. I am doing a lot to focus on myself so I will just continue with that. He is the one who will be loosing everything and gaining nothing but freedom.


me-BS (49)
him-WH (49)
2 children 21 and 19
Together 30 years
Ow-(30)and she knew me knew he is married.
D-day 1 4/24/2013
D-day 2. 7/9/2013. Day after anniversary
D-day 3. 8/12/13.
Filing for divorce

Posts: 135 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: connecticut
1Faith
♀ 38975
Member # 38975
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They will help him understand why you chose to cheat in the first place.

Most therapists want you to answers your own questions not provide direction.

My hope is his is a good one and will help clear the fog in this head/heart.

Have you seen an IC yet? Please consider it. It will help you as well.

(((hugs)))


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1337 | Registered: Apr 2013
savvy
♀ 39102
Member # 39102
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1Fatith yes I am seeing an IC. Only one session so far but looking forward to going back. I am truly hopeful it will help me clear my head a bit also so I know what is best for me and my children. As always thank you for support.


me-BS (49)
him-WH (49)
2 children 21 and 19
Together 30 years
Ow-(30)and she knew me knew he is married.
D-day 1 4/24/2013
D-day 2. 7/9/2013. Day after anniversary
D-day 3. 8/12/13.
Filing for divorce

Posts: 135 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: connecticut
1Faith
♀ 38975
Member # 38975
Default  Posted: 3:19 PM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Each and every tear you cry is counted by God, each and every pain you feel can be used for good.

Each time you become vulnerable to another, you open your life to new joys and wonders and each day that you suffer God has promised to repay you double.

Get through this accepting every feeling, every emotion, every consequence that comes upon you by trusting that it will somehow bring you to where you need to be.

Donít beat yourself up, donít think you canít handle it, donít think that you canít forgive. Not forgiving only poisons your own soul. You CAN get through this stronger, better and more intact and whole than you were before. But you have to go through it you canít step around it, or jump over it or circumvent/bypass the journey itís the little steps, the one foot in front of the other the single step that begins the journey.


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1337 | Registered: Apr 2013
Topic Posts: 6

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