This is soooo hard!
If it helps, here are the basics of what went on.
I did this very thing a week ago. It was one of the darkest days since DDAY, to sit in a strange room with strangers and that man I loved for 20 years across the room, being "good old boys" with his L.
Perv and L attempted to plan the entire year, for what it's worth, and it backfired because he didn't give thought to anything DD would actually want herself-only him and his convenience. I know I'm supposed to NC, but after it was over, I was so out of whack from the changes he'd made that I did write and tell him how disappointed she would be of the changes and also that he was letting her down on promises of some future plans that would be cancelled because of the new structure he wanted.
Do you know, he hadn't even realized it?
I spent half the time in tears because it's fresh for me, but not for him so he had no clue and didn't try.
It ended up being a waste of a whole lot of money, but it got him to think about DD, so okay.
As I am trying to hold off DD staying at OW's (gag), another issue is Perv find a place for them to stay and he tried to make that my responsiblity. I don't know if you have anything like that going on, but it was a big trigger and one of the things that came up. They look at safety issues and try to make times, but those are boundaries and Perv doesn't "do that".
I'm sorry you have to go through it too, Michelle and hope you will recover quickly.
You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.