Long story short, I told him I was getting a record of all of his deleted texts between him and the OW, complete with message contents. I said I was giving him one final opportunity to come clean with anything else he needed to tell me. He said that he didn't want me to read it, just to bring home the divorce papers, and he would sign and leave - he said he would walk out of our family's life for good. class act right! Anyway, he insists I not read it because he doesn't want to hurt me anymore....and admitted to 3 more details of their relationship.
Anyway, I ended the conversation with him bawling and I said I was going to enjoy my lunch break reading and he would hear from me later.
Seriously, I graciously am giving him a final opportunity to come clean and he just says, don't read it, you're going to leave me, just bring home the divorce papers and I'll leave?! Really?! Oh spare my poor (already broken) heart!
Not that this matters, he swore all last week, he was going to make this work, make this better, get help, stop lying to me. Yet I caught him in a lie when I asked him on DDay if he sent OW any "private" pics, he said no, then the night before last said he had.
He doesn't really want to wok this out I think....I think he wants to keeping being married and carrying on with his crap...
presently working towards...well i don't know anymore...
Could he come clean and tell you WHY he thinks you will want a D after reading them?
D-Day, June 10, 2012
And ok, I'll admit to you all I lied to him, I do not have the texts (at this time but I can get them). I know there's more he hasn't divulged and was hoping he would come clean on his own. In my line of work, interrogation and truth/fact finding skills are necessary and I am using my arsenal of training against him right now. If only I knew how to play poker, I could probably clean up pretty good!
So sorry. He is continuing to be selfish. If he really wanted it to work, why not come clean and then beg for forgiveness?
It sounds as if he is willing and perhaps wanting to throw in the towel? (((sigh)))
Continue your 180. Stay strong.
Stay strong, he is in panic mode and may eventually fold like a cheap suit. If he plays the D card then play along with him, it can always be stopped later on.
I don't get it, he knows I'm not playing and swears he wants me and our family but cmon! I think it would literally kill this guy to tell me the truth! so frustrating and I'm getting tired of this sh*t!
Ya know what? I'm old enough to be your mother - and I WISH I had the guts you have, not only at my age NOW - but when I was 30 too!
Well..I do have the guts now - thanks to SI..)
I know you don't need me to tell you this - but you aer awesome - you hang tough girl..and let the big Mr Big Shot cry his eyes out - and do NOT back down.
My H would lie until the bitter end too - and I'll bet your H does want to work it out - but right now he is TERRIFIED of YOU! Good.
I called my H's bluff once - and it worked - I was very proud because he works in law enforcement -
Stay strong - you're amazing.
[This message edited by LivingALie at 2:14 PM, May 13th (Monday)]
Go get him. (((hugs)))
Thank you! It took a long time to find my strength and most of it stems from knowing I have two beautiful sons to raise to be good men, to treat women like equals not objects, and to not be lying, selfish pricks...
I came from a broken home. My mother was the OW. We were the OWC. My parents, uncles, aunts, older sisters all helped to conceal the lie. I refuse to live like that and WH knows that, but he is seriously taking advantage of my good graces.
I just spoke to him (he called me, I refuse to call him and answer his calls on the first ring...180, 180, 180!). I was very calm, and stated complete disclosure had to happen tonight, and not the kind where I ask a question and 20 minutes later I get a partial answer and a whole lot of silence. He is going to initiate the conversation and spill it to the end. If I have to pull teeth, well, I am going to take that as a refusal to be honest and wanting to genuinely make this M work.
He said ok.
We shall see....
"the woman balls are strong with this one."