This Topic is Archived
musiclovingmom (original poster member #38207) posted at 8:15 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
Ok, brief back story. My exH is a very angry man. He has been for a long time and it is getting progressively worse. After almost 9 years together, I left. He NEVER hit me, but I was worried that he would someday. We were a volatile mix. We have a young daughter -5 now. He is re-married. His new wife has 3 older kids - 13, 11, 8 and they have one on the way. I have witnessed them punishing the older kids with push-up and running. My wxH runs behind smacking the kid on the butt and yelling (usually obscenities) at whoever is running. My daughter tells me that her dad yells a lot and that he punched a hole in the wall after a fight with his new wife (he did that once with me too). Yesterday, though, my daughter told me that his new wife threatened to call the cops and have her dad arrested if he didn't start respecting her kids. After a few questions, I found out that he pushed the 13 yr old into the door twice and then threw him on the floor. The police will be going by probably today to do a child welfare check. I know that keeping those kids safe (and starting a paper trail in case I have to go to court over custody) was the right thing to do, but I'm so worried about the fall out. My name is nowhere on the report, but I know my exH and his wife will assume I made the call. Don't know if I really have a question, just needed to share with someone and since my H is busy at work out of state, you're the lucky ones.
h0peless ( member #36697) posted at 8:30 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
I'm a mandatory reporter and it sucks every single time I have to make a report. Just know that you did the right thing. Your daughter is calling out for help and she may be acting as a voice for the others as well. Your ex sounds like a disturbed man.
simplydevastated ( member #25001) posted at 8:34 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
(((HUGS))) to you and all the children effected. You did the right thing.
Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 8:36 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
I think you did a very brave thing.
(((mlm)))
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
jrc1963 ( member #26531) posted at 10:24 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
You did the right thing... you need to protect your DD and all of the kids.
Me: BSO - 56 Him: FWSO - 79 DS - 23 D-Day - 12-11-09, R - he finally came homeYour life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 10:40 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
It took a lot of strength for your DD to tell you what was going on. You absolutely did the right thing by your daughter and the other children in that house.
Big hugs for you and DD.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
metamorphisis ( member #12041) posted at 10:59 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
You just taught your daughter a valuable lesson.. that she is heard and when something isn't right someone will listen to her. I hope his new wife gets the good sense to protect her children with more than idle threats. For now, you've done the right thing for them 
Go softly my sweet friend. You will always be a part of who I am.
yewtree ( member #16671) posted at 11:44 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2013
I'm proud of you both! Stay safe!
Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)
Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 - No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.
musiclovingmom (original poster member #38207) posted at 3:00 AM on Tuesday, May 14th, 2013
Thanks for all the support. Before I stayed at home, I was a classroom teacher and, as such, obligated to call if there was even suspicion of abuse. It's always a little scary, but even worse when you know that the people being investigated will know it was you, and they know where you live. Plus, my H is out of town right now, so it's just me and the little boys until my daughter comes back. Then me and the three of them until my H gets home. However, I haven't even gotten an angry text yet, so maybe I'm ok.
This Topic is Archived
