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Texted H not to come home.

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Sleepy312 posted 5/13/2013 16:34 PM

That lit a fire under his ass. He has managed to find an excuse not to go to mc every time I've gone for at least a month.

Well, I texted him the time and address and he texted back he couldn't make it.

I texted back not to bother coming home and ill pack a bag Andrade it in the garage.

He flipped out. He immediately left work. He went home looking for me. I said I was at an appt. he asked for address to come get me and go to counseling. I said I'm at xx I will be at counseling at said time.

He put on a good show and the when we left didn't really speak to me. He went back to work and I went to get the kids from s hool.

PurpleBirch posted 5/13/2013 19:05 PM

My WH didn't want to go to counseling either. I'm glad you managed to convince him. What happened after he came home from work? Same old? Or some effort?

solus sto posted 5/13/2013 19:13 PM

I know it seems semi-encouraging, but don't put too much stock in one day's attendance at counseling.

When I finally told my husband it was over, he flipped out. His therapist was gobsmacked---seriously, he was so flabbergasted at this response that he asked me in for a reality check.

My husband had told him lies about me ad nauseum, and the IC could not fathom that there was ANY way he wanted to be with me. And you know what? He really didn't. He didn't want to be with me. He just didn't like the loss of CONTROL.

Watch your husband's actions over time.

Skan posted 5/13/2013 19:33 PM

Sleepy312, good job. What you did is exactly why most of us all say that you can't nice them back. You have to shock their system just as much as they shocked yours (not that that's really possible, of course) to get their attention focused on the fact that You Very Well Might Leave. Perhaps Tomorrow. Hold to your hard line. You'll get a much faster answer as to if he's serious or not.

Sleepy312 posted 5/14/2013 08:44 AM

After the appt he came with me and when we were getting in the car he said don't ever send a text like that again.

That made me feel like he didn't take it seriously although his response to my text showed otherwise.

He said that him not making it to the appt yesterday was just a scheduling conflict. Therapist told him she interpreted his actions toward the appointments as avoidance. I don't think he heard that though.

He has an individual appt with her tomorrow.

confused615 posted 5/14/2013 08:56 AM

I agree with your MC.

Tell him,ok. You won't send a text like that again. That if you feel he isn't 100% in R, next time you'll have him served.

Sleepy312 posted 5/14/2013 09:09 AM

The problem is he thinks R is on his terms. He may have slightly realized yesterday that his way may just not be acceptable.

It's nice to have my feelings and things I've said to him validated by the therapist be side he's an excellent gaslighter.

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