You have nothing to feel ashamed about. You did nothing wrong but trust the person you are in a relationship with.
I also felt this way. I always felt like people were judging me for my H actions. You get over it after a while.
I would recommend IC since you have not support outside of this board. This place is a awesome but sometimes we need one on one contact to get us through the rough times.
Married-14 years together 15
Kids 4: 17, 14, 10, and 5
DDay#1 9-26-2008 Dday#2 4-26-2010
We have R!!! But I still hate the number 26!
This too shall pass
I edit a lot because that stupid box is so small!