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IGaveItMyAll posted 5/13/2013 19:43 PM

Well I haven't been on in a while. Just thought I would update you all. In my last posts I decided I needed to start working on transforming my life in these 3 aspects. Emotionally, Physically and Spiritually. I can tell you I am just at the tip of the ice berg but it has been amazing so far. I have been listening to a transformation program by David DeAngelo and its been very eye opening for me. I am taking back control of my life. In doing so, many things are falling into place. My children are so much happier and we have a ton more love in our lives. My wife also has been on her own journey of healing. A bit different than mine but we are connecting spiritually for the first time ever. Its been a very surreal experience. Although thoughts of her A still pop up. It hasn't nearly had the bearing on my life that I allowed it to have. I just decided I am going to heal, accept my reality, Control my emotions and make some VERY long awaited possitive changes in myself for me. But my W and I already have such a different mariage than before. She actually told me the other day that it feels like we are newly weds. I am excited to see how deep we can take this and see where this journey leads me for myself and my family. Good luck to everyone out there on SI. Honestly, the last time I was on here I had a life changing moment. I decided that I was going to work on me with or without my W but it needed to be done. Since that day I strived to do it. I continue to work everyday but thanks everyone on here. Seriously THANK YOU!!!

Skan posted 5/13/2013 20:26 PM

I'm so happy for your family! Thank you for the encouraging words!

h0pe4ul posted 5/14/2013 10:28 AM

Cheers to you and your family, IGaveItMyAll!

In the words of Michael Jackson: "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make that CHANGE!" (Man in the Mirror)

Change starts with us first and is very empowering when WE CHOOSE to turn things around vs. waiting for someone else to make that choice for us.

You stood your ground and I am proud of and happy for you.

We are always here no matter what.

Enjoy where you are today on to what you will be tomorrow.

God bless!

numb&dumb posted 5/14/2013 11:26 AM

make some VERY long awaited possitive changes in myself for me

It is as close as you can get to having a "silver bullet" in this mess isn't it.

Positive changes for yourself are never "false," and stay with you wherever you go.

Good update

IGaveItMyAll posted 5/14/2013 15:02 PM

It is as close as you can get to having a "silver bullet" in this mess isn't it.

There are so many things I am learning and it has been AMAZING!!! One concept is I realized I have control over everything in my life. It took me a bit to REALLY feel this way. Because I kept thinking well I can't control others actions in my life. This is true but the fact is I can control eveything in my life and if I don't like anothers actions I can let them right out of my life and I have control over that. So my personal journey is to live a much more gratifying life for myself. I am pushing myself in ways I never would have thought possible. If I can give all of you a bit of advice. Start working on yourself as soon as you can. I know it is hard to pick yourself up when you become obsessive over all this and when you are depressed. I know I was there (and sometime go back there) BUT By truly working on yourself pain of all this becomes much easier to deal with. I had to get out of the victim role and am still managing feelings that come up but I am learning to heal from each and every one of them. My end goal is to live a much happier life with lots of love and fun. So far, through all the hard work, my life is becoming happier. I haven't quite acheived the fun part but feel its not too far off in the distance. Get Up and live for yourself!!

On a side note.... When I came to this realization my W and I started communicating on a much deeper level. We are starting to connect in ways we haven't ever been able to in the past. We both feel we aren't quite where we want to be yet but we are closer today than we were yesterday. We looked at how much growth we have had in the past 3 months and its been pretty amazing. One saying I liked the other day is.... "The grass is always greener where you water it." So I am watering and fertilizing the crap out of my current life. Hopefully we will grow something beautiful of not at least I know there will be a tall, strong tree right in the middle (Me)