This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet
I cry at the goodness aimed at me. It isn't something that I have come to expect from people. I don't know why I expect people to behave toward me like my XH did, but I do. When they behave with respect and kindness.. I become close to tears.
I think I am grateful for their kindness toward me when I don't feel worthy of that kindness.
I think I'm more focused on the kids and worried about the damage STBX has been causing to them, so when I see them thriving, it brings on the happy tears.
I don't think anything is wrong with you. You probably realize you are mourning something that wasn't real. It was a fantasy you wish you had, a person you thought you were with, so it's kind of silly to cry over something that wasn't real..
But your kids ARE real, and those relationships ARE real, and so I think your tears are almost a celebration of what is left of your life that is not a fantasy.
Congrats on raising a fabulous DD. She sounds wonderful
[This message edited by ButterflyGirl at 12:52 AM, May 14th (Tuesday)]
Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.
I think I don't expect kindness anymore or right now, so when it comes, it's such a shock that it can still exist in this world. And do you any of you feel like it's double edged if it's not from a kid? I think the mistrust is very thick after DDay and not just about WSs. I think that As mess up a lot of our thinking about people and life in general, at least it did for me.
I also find that I have terrible trouble asking anyone for any help.
And you know, when kindness comes from a child, it's truly from the heart without anything hidden, KWIM? It's honest and raw and pure, which used to be with our WS, so maybe something in our subconscious is reminding us of that?
And I think maybe the tears we have for good things and kindness-again, at least for me-are a sign of greatfulness that kindness and thought still exist for me on this earth. I'm glad it does for all of you, too.
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
My 23 year old. He was never a good father to her when she was growing up. Nothing bad - just nothing.
Now he is making up for it. Everything for her. Which is fine, and it's about f-ing time!! But, now I get to hear - Daddy this, Dad is going to help me with that, dad, dad, dad, daddy, dad.
I just want to scream. But I don't... just burn a slow burn inside.