For your Husband
Did you have an affair?
• Want to know if something is cheating? If you wouldn't do it with your spouse standing there, it's cheating.
EA of PA...BOTH ARE CHEATING and are extremely hurtful and disrespectful. He did cross the line when he failed to stop communicating with her. He did cross the line when he was emotionally available to her and not to you. He's crossed many lines.
• Own the problems that you created by having an affair. You cannot change what you don't acknowledge.
• It is unfair to compare a new, exciting, taboo fantasy relationship to one you've been in for years where there are kids (or a baby on the way), bills to pay, a house to run and noses to wipe. That is a ridiculous comparison.
• In order to resolve your relationship, contact with "the other person" must be cut off 100 percent. You can't work on dealing with the consequences of the affair while you're still having it.
• Don't rely on your heart to tell you what to do; rely on your intellect. Do what logic tells you is the right thing to do.
• Make the hard decisions. Either leave the marriage to free your partner, or commit to stay. Remember, checking out of one relationship before you finish it appropriately doesn't work and isn’t fair.
• Ask yourself: What are you doing to help your partner get past the affair?
• Be mature enough to recognize that life is not always all about you and what feels good for you in the moment. If you are married and have children (or will soon), you have an obligation and a commitment that far transcends what feels good.
• Help the partner who did not have the affair find emotional closure. You must do whatever it takes until your partner finds it. If it requires you to check in with your spouse multiple times a day, then do it. It'll require you being where you're supposed to be, when you're supposed to be, 24 hours-a-day, seven days-a-week, so your spouse can trust you again. You do it for however long it takes.
• Do you know what a healthy relationship is? Figure out what you want and behave your way to success.
For you statistic...my heart breaks. Being pregnant should be the most magical time of your life and your husband is being extremely selfish in putting you through this.
Move forward. Look up the 180 in the healing library and rely on people you know you can count on like your family.
Sending hugs and prayers.
Focus on your beautiful baby.