Sometimes life gives you lemons but i have gold spray paint.
I know to some this may seem like I got payback but I can honestly tell you it does not feel good. I wasted so much time and energy and I feel like I sold a piece of my soul for vegence.
If you are going to contact the OM to try and find out more info then please be careful what you ask for. It is quite possible that you only have a small amount of the truth about what really happened during your W affair. IMO I would leave the OM out of it and concentrate on your WW, she was the one that was supposed to protect you and your marriage.
I also think the fact that the OMs were not complicit in the lying means that you have as good of a shot as anyone to get some real answers. They aren't proven liars like married OM or OM who know the W is married.
Breaking NC hurts the R process in many real and potential ways. Your problem is with your W, so leave the oms out of your recovery.
Gotta love the life that we livin'