Yeah, even in the best of circumstances, things can be quite tough when recovering from betrayal.
You and your H sound like you are both putting the work in though.
Be easy on yourself. It's going to take a good while before your emotions catch up to what you see and is really going on in your life now.
It sounds like you are still working through many things regarding the A and other OW but it is also good your H is trying to help w/your healing process as much as he can.
One day at a time.....that is the best gift you can give you right now...and it's OK to not be 100% in the midst of your process now.
The time will come when you will be. :).
For now, it seems like you are heading in the right direction.