1Faith just offered you some great advice.
I am not an expert in any way but it sounds like depression is starting to kick in for you.
I read in your previous post how hard it is just to get out of bed and I can tell you I've been there one too many times, for too many years...(even just a few weeks ago).
While it is good to process our feelings when dealing w/the aftermath of an A, it's also so very important to take care of ourselves in the process.
I am now working on losing ALL of the weight (all 39 lbs, give a take a few from pregnancy), left that I gained due to emotional eating while depressed about my M, and my life in general.
I was a lot heavier just a couple of years ago and managed by God's grace to lose close to 25 lbs of what I gained coming into R but still have a ways to go and am working on...
Don't let yourself get there because of losing yourself.
I know it's easier said than done but 1Faith is right. It's OK to give yourself a break from all of the heartache and pain you've been through recently.
You always have us at SI but if possible, see if you can build a support group who cares about your well-being that you can be around (even if just to do things with and not really talk about the A with) to give you a break from your reality a little.
Doing so may put some things into perspective for you and instead of staying home in fear of the future, you may begin to get proactive about your present and take your future by the horns!!
You can't control what your WH decides to do but you don't have to let what he does dictate how your life is going to be now. You couldn't control his A but you can control how you let what he did affect you.
Hurt and cry when you need to but also live and enjoy yourself too when you need to because you have to look out for you more than anything else right now.
You are not alone! Feel better, Sis!!!