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Bitter and dissapointed

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hopeandchange posted 5/14/2013 10:25 AM

"I am bitter and dissapointed that after 20 years of marriage you do not want to support me" - stbxww

I have offerred 50/50 split of assets. I have offerred to pay all of DD and DS expenses. I have asked that stbxww support herself on her income - she is a professional currently working part time. She wants more. 55/45 split of assets. Child support to cover mortgage and utilities. Spousal maintenance. Or some comination of the above.

"I was the homemaker, dedicated to the family, while you built your career" - stbxww

stbxww had a 2+ yr LTA. Brought OM into our home for sex. Met OM for sex on our vacation. Texted OM on our wedding anniversarry.

And stbxww is bitter and dissapointed in me. It is still all my fault and I am still responsible for her well being. We will D - her choice - and if I make a higher salary than it should be shared so we have the same lifestyle. Except that I will work full time; she will work part time. I will have to learn to live with her betrayal; she will justivy her betryal based on being unhappy.


dmari posted 5/14/2013 11:17 AM

Hugs h&c ... lots and lots of hugs! How DARE she be "bitter and disappointed" in you? What the fuck? What a great example of minimizing and blame shifting! I hope you see through her bullshit. Hugs and support, dmari

damncutekitty posted 5/14/2013 11:30 AM

Why isn't her OM going to support her?

NeverAgain2013 posted 5/14/2013 12:53 PM

Why isn't her OM going to support her?

LOL..excellent point.

Why isn't Romeo happy to pick up the burden of supporting her cheating ass?

I wish you much peace and happiness on your new journey, Hopeandchange.

Jayne Doe posted 5/14/2013 13:10 PM

This is why you get a good attorney.

TS what she wants.
She made the bed... now she gets to live in it.

I think I can posted 5/14/2013 13:46 PM

Wasn't she "bitter and disappointed" whe she was married? Not sure why she'd expect different now.

damncutekitty posted 5/14/2013 14:51 PM

I would love to see her explain to a judge why someone in a professional career with the ability to support herself should be allowed to work part time on someone else's dime. Just because she doesn't feel like working full time.

Does she have an actual reason to only work part time? Or is she just that entitled?

Ashland13 posted 5/14/2013 17:56 PM

I'm sorry, h & c. I have some of that going on with STBXH and it's really, really frustrating.

We made choices together but he stepped off the path and is still changing things he said or promises he made.

"Spousal maintenance" sounds to me somewhat like an attempt at alimony, which is not an easy thing to accomplish. I do see your point of view as being the stayed spouse and she should have planned more for herself and shouldn't count on you to clean up after her more after what she's done.

I'm sorry and hope she'll back off someday or get distracted and yes, I like the post about her going before a judge to explain herself.

That sense of entitlement doesn't seem to be cured with consequences from every-day-people like a spouse, for it's surely not working here. Maybe standing up like that and in front of anyone else will help even a little.

At the least, she'll have to hear her own voice say some of the words out loud.

tryingagain74 posted 5/14/2013 19:55 PM

Uh, yeah... I work part-time, and I'm more than welcome to do that as long as I want WITHOUT the expectation that STBX will give me more money. He gives me CS based on the state calculation and his salary; I work part-time right now because I'm managing to afford it and because it makes my work/life balance much more manageable. If I want more money, though? The courts would tell me to up my hours.

I agree with the others. Get a good L and let her hang herself. She sounds like a really selfish, entitled piece of work. Support her? Sweetheart, he did support you when he thought you were also a source of support for him!

It sounds to me like you're freeing yourself from a particularly heavy albatross. You're going to enjoy how much lighter you feel when you're no longer carrying that weight!

pointmagnet posted 5/14/2013 20:06 PM

I have the same bs situation. Stbxww wants 65 percent of my take home pay. She doesnt work, just spend her day trying to find a dude to sleep with.

Fuck her.

persevere posted 5/14/2013 21:01 PM

The one very slight credit I will give to XWH was that he agreed to a 60/40 split, primarily due to the infidelity, however he nickled and dimed my 60 all he could.

No way does a WS deserve more than the 50 split...less in fact. Ugh...

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