"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

gma56 posted 5/14/2013 15:03 PM

So I was suppose to go horseback riding on the beach this weekend with the neighbor guy. I was excited, I haven't been riding in years and the beach would be fantastic. We were going with several other riders.

Well today he tells me the plans have changed. No other people are going just us and he booked a hotel(1 room) that will board horses. HELL NO !! I just knew he was going to try something ! I knew it !

I've made it clear and told him directly, it's a friendship and won't be anything more than that.EVER ! I am not sleeping with him or anyone for just sex. Not happening, my emotions can't handle that since divorce and I not interested in ONS or FWB.
He brought flowers today! HELL NO ! Not happening. He pissed me off and I told him not to come to my house again.
How dare him.
Now I will have to do it myself because I really wanted to ride.
I knew in my gut he wasn't going to accept that I want just friendship and a riding partner. Gma's tuner is getting better. Two years ago, I would have went and been blindsided. I did good !
NEXT !

gma56 posted 5/14/2013 15:09 PM

Now he's calling my home office phone because he knows I wouldn't answer the cell.

He really doesn't want to hear what I have to say right now. Get a clue ! Sent both calls to VM.

nowiknow23 posted 5/14/2013 15:29 PM

Dang. He's persistent! Hope you don't end up with a stalker next door, gma.

gma56 posted 5/14/2013 15:41 PM

I have male room mates and one is a body guard so I don't think I will have too many problems.
The other room mate gives him an evil eye when he was here, I haven't seen it but I'm sure he did it .
I also have an attorney that has been here often helping me with some legal papers. He's a family friend so the neighbor would be wise to back off.

gma

FaithFool posted 5/14/2013 20:34 PM

Dang! What a drag!

gma56 posted 5/14/2013 20:44 PM

He came over awhile ago and was so sorry he offended me. He apologized for reading my actions wrong. I don't think so idiot, I said it several times that it's friends only. WTH don't you understand idiot??
Uggggggghhh !
Yeah, no more wine at my house with me !

phmh posted 5/15/2013 06:24 AM

I am only posting in hopes it may help you avoid a similar situation in the future, but your words and actions weren't matching up -- no wonder this guy was confused! Wine nights at your house, romantic horseback ride along the beach. You hear so many times (even here!) of people who wanted to be just friends and it turned into more. I can see why this guy might try to make a move if he liked you and was putting more stock in your actions than your words.

Especially if you told him you weren't interested in just a FWB or ONS, as his actions seem to indicate that he'd want an actual relationship, so he may have thought he was listening to your words as well.

I have found that pretty much any single, straight guy that's within 5 years younger or 20 years older than me thinks I'm interested in them just because I'm a nice person. I've had to be very careful with my actions around them to not give off the wrong impression.

Hope you enjoy your ride, even if the company is different that you originally anticipated!

DeadMumWalking posted 5/15/2013 07:54 AM

romantic horseback ride along the beach

Not sure how a group ride that included gma and neighbor guy is 'romantic', but maybe that's just me?

Too bad gma, but good tuning

gahurts posted 5/15/2013 08:32 AM

gma, I think you read this right. If he was confused and wanted to see if it could be more than friends then he should have told you that some plans changed, its just going to be us and I was thinking maybe we could make it an overnight and then ASK you how you would want to deal with the sleeping arangements. I would NEVER be so arrogant as to book a single hotel room for someone and then just tell them this is what I did. It's obvious what he was looking for.

gma56 posted 5/15/2013 10:03 AM

Wine nights at your house, romantic horseback ride along the beach

Wine evenings were with usually no less than 3 other people and never just the two of us. The house I live in has a spectacular front porch and the sunsets from it are breath taking. It was not every night or anything but a group of neighbors/friends casual talking and enjoying the scenery. It was never on my private deck.

The ride on the beach was again with a group of horse riders for the day. They cancelled and he took upon himself to assume an over night would be good.

He had asked me out several times but I refused. I told him I wasn't interested in anything romantic. He's a great guy, very good looking. and fun but he crossed my boundaries that he was fully aware of.

I would NEVER be so arrogant as to book a single hotel room for someone and then just tell them this is what I did. It's obvious what he was looking for.

Exactly ! I found his actions very arrogant and told him so. He knows some of my past history. I'm divorced from one arrogant FT and certainly have my radar on if anything feels similar. His booking the room felt exactly what FT would have done in the beginning of our relationship. If neighbor and I had already a relationship, I would have been thrilled and packed. I've never kissed or hugged this man so I'm not going to be sleeping with him. Maybe I missed the love of my life but I doubt it.

So another neighbor couple ride with handicap kids and their families once a month and their next ride is at the beach. I'm booked to go in June or July! WooHoo.

[This message edited by gma56 at 10:04 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)]