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Cried the whole way there and the whole way back. Such a shame. We could have had it all.

(((HUGS))) I hear ya, Hon.

((((SusanR))))

I KNOW I never cried so much as during the affair and the following year between him moving out and our divorce hearing. Didn't know I could have so many tears. I look back and think 'two years of my life, wasted.' Wasted on a man who cares about no one but himself. A 35 year marriage plus 2 more years of destruction prior to divorce. I wish I would have / could have become really angry sooner rather than later. Anger saved me. And the realization that a man who could trade away a devoted wife and daughters who loved their dad for a cheating MOW who is stupid stupid stupid (had her subpoenaed to testify at our D hearing - a very smart thing to do) and looks like a horse with DD implants.... well, that doesn't say much for him, does it?
I will never understand it and I don't waste my time trying to understand it. I just know I'm no longer married to a cheating, lying, user drama king. Let her have him; they deserve one another. And I pray they get everything they deserve.
Despite what cheater xh now says, we DID have a good marriage, we DID have wonderful times together, we WERE happy. Until that one key stroke that changed our lives forever.
Instead of so many tv shows portraying cheating spouses in the throes of their fantasy worlds, I wish they would start showing the real aftermath of affairs. Maybe, if people could see the reality of it, what it really does to the BS and the children, they wouldn't be so quick to jump ship.
Hang in and hang on, SusanR. You will come out on the other side; your life won't be the same but you won't have to deal with the heartbreak of a cheater and that's not all bad.

((SusanR)) Do something nice for yourself.

Oh, Susan, I know. I'm so sorry for your grief. And I know it.

I am only a little bit ahead in the process and I can hardly function when any activity has to happen. I could hardly drive to get ther or get myself ready.

It becomes a feeling of automatic pilot, doesn't it?

I wish you well and hope the periods of peace in your mind will begin to grow at some point.

((((Susan)))

Hang in there, żou'll survive this, you are stronger than you think. You are doing the right thing for YOU.

Being alone, is better than being with someone and feeling lonely, and that's what would feel if you stayed with him and his mind and heart would be elsewhere. Right?

You are still young, there's still a life out there for you. It's different, but who knows what awaits you?

Keep busy, and take care of yourself. We are here to listen, because we understand.

1 year ago, this time, I was a mess.. I still have my down moments, and I still miss the man before the affair. But not this lying, cheating, and selfish person.

We have to continue to have hope for an even better future.

I remember the first time I interviewed an attorney, I got that punched in the gut feeling.
I was shaking.

To this day (in the middle of it all) I still get that sick feeling whenever there is an email from the attorney's office.

It just SUCKS!!! But - at this point I just want to get to the other side.

Here's to getting to the other side of this Susan!! (((hugs))) Know you are not alone.

[This message edited by Jayne Doe at 9:14 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)]