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Newest Member: flowerfarmer (61841)

User Topic: I retained an attorney today
♀ 29368
Member # 29368
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cried the whole way there and the whole way back. Such a shame. We could have had it all.

Posts: 1970 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Midwest
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 6:19 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((HUGS))) I hear ya, Hon.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ 34697
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:24 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4962 | Registered: Jan 2012
♀ 27071
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I KNOW I never cried so much as during the affair and the following year between him moving out and our divorce hearing. Didn't know I could have so many tears. I look back and think 'two years of my life, wasted.' Wasted on a man who cares about no one but himself. A 35 year marriage plus 2 more years of destruction prior to divorce. I wish I would have / could have become really angry sooner rather than later. Anger saved me. And the realization that a man who could trade away a devoted wife and daughters who loved their dad for a cheating MOW who is stupid stupid stupid (had her subpoenaed to testify at our D hearing - a very smart thing to do) and looks like a horse with DD implants.... well, that doesn't say much for him, does it?
I will never understand it and I don't waste my time trying to understand it. I just know I'm no longer married to a cheating, lying, user drama king. Let her have him; they deserve one another. And I pray they get everything they deserve.
Despite what cheater xh now says, we DID have a good marriage, we DID have wonderful times together, we WERE happy. Until that one key stroke that changed our lives forever.
Instead of so many tv shows portraying cheating spouses in the throes of their fantasy worlds, I wish they would start showing the real aftermath of affairs. Maybe, if people could see the reality of it, what it really does to the BS and the children, they wouldn't be so quick to jump ship.
Hang in and hang on, SusanR. You will come out on the other side; your life won't be the same but you won't have to deal with the heartbreak of a cheater and that's not all bad.

D-Day: 8/28/2009
BW: 59 @ D-Day XH: 60 @ D-Day Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
Beyond terror is freedom. (Agnes Martin)

Posts: 1242 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri
♀ 27035
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((SusanR)) Do something nice for yourself.

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5379 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
♀ 38378
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, Susan, I know. I'm so sorry for your grief. And I know it.

I am only a little bit ahead in the process and I can hardly function when any activity has to happen. I could hardly drive to get ther or get myself ready.

It becomes a feeling of automatic pilot, doesn't it?

I wish you well and hope the periods of peace in your mind will begin to grow at some point.

Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

Posts: 3034 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
♀ 38271
Member # 38271
Default  Posted: 8:27 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Hang in there, żou'll survive this, you are stronger than you think. You are doing the right thing for YOU.

Being alone, is better than being with someone and feeling lonely, and that's what would feel if you stayed with him and his mind and heart would be elsewhere. Right?

You are still young, there's still a life out there for you. It's different, but who knows what awaits you?

Keep busy, and take care of yourself. We are here to listen, because we understand.

1 year ago, this time, I was a mess.. I still have my down moments, and I still miss the man before the affair. But not this lying, cheating, and selfish person.

We have to continue to have hope for an even better future.

~~When people show you who they are believe them ~~ Maya Angelou

Me -BS (49)

DS 21, DD 17
Divorced 8/2015

Posts: 869 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: SE PA
Jayne Doe
♀ 32664
Member # 32664
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I remember the first time I interviewed an attorney, I got that punched in the gut feeling.
I was shaking.

To this day (in the middle of it all) I still get that sick feeling whenever there is an email from the attorney's office.

It just SUCKS!!! But - at this point I just want to get to the other side.

Here's to getting to the other side of this Susan!! (((hugs))) Know you are not alone.

[This message edited by Jayne Doe at 9:14 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)]

Everyday is a blank canvas, and only you hold the brush.
30y M traded in for a POM (pathetic Old Maid 46, 2 kids from different dads. never married)
S 11/11, D final 1/14.

Posts: 1457 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Suburbia, Arizona
Topic Posts: 8

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