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She looks like her and I got mad

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LA44 posted 5/14/2013 20:05 PM

So, tonight we went out to a local restaurant with the kids to get a quick bite. An acquantaince - Mary - comes in. She at least resembles the affair person. My H reports that only the hair is the same. I REALLY disagree.

We are finished eating and ready to go. We have two seperate cars. My H has to go to the bank so he asks if I will take the boys with me. Fine. Sounds good. I am bending down to get my purse thinking we will then say our goodbyes when he is up and over at Mary's table saying, "hi". Keep in mind that we all greeted each other when she entered. Also, my H knows I think she looks like the affair person. I expressed this a few months ago.

There was no goodbye or peck on the cheek or see you in a few minutues, hon. He just got up and went to her table.

When he got home, I expressed anger that he disregarded me and instead made a beeline to her. I suggested to him that he might want to delve into his subconscious a little more closely. Given Mary's appearance, I am sure I am not "off" about this.

He swears up and down that he just wanted to say hi. We said hi. And that he had to use the bathroom. It's not at that end of the restaurant.

Come on, hon! I expressed. Dig a little more!

[This message edited by LA44 at 8:06 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)]

Rebreather posted 5/14/2013 20:10 PM

Agreed.

SecondHelping posted 5/14/2013 20:34 PM

DD11 plays Little League baseball and one of the coaches on a opposing team looks just like fWWs OM. I've told her but she also disagrees.

I feel for you about this because it's a constant trigger.

My fWW is great about this. Whenever we play against them she is there to console me. I've been able to disregard him most of the time, but when he comes out on the field, I lose it. She senses this and consoles me. Thanks fWW.

LA44 posted 5/14/2013 20:44 PM

And funny he said, "You know, I think this about you triggering."Well, yeah! But at the same time can you just acknowledge me before you leave the table? And when you leave it for someone that looks like the affair person how do you think I am going to feel?

Having said that, I don't expect him to ignore Mary - but I do expect him to show some common sense with me when Mary is around! And whether I am around or not, I do expect him to keep the resemblance in mind and to pay attention to his behaviour.

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