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Conflicted feelings about the long weekend...

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NoraLee posted 5/14/2013 21:38 PM

Weird weekend approaching...

Here in Canada, it's Victoria Day Weekend - and Monday is the holiday.

H mentioned in passing that he'd like to take me on a mini-vacation to Niagra Falls - one night in a beautiful hotel, wine tasting tour - alone time with no kids. Just him thinking of it gave me goose-bumps. I want him to want to do these things with me. I appreciated the sentiment but we're in a bind financially and "it's the thought that counts" was more than enough. So imagine my surprise when he booked it the next day!! He talked to his Mom who agreed to front him the money until things are better.

It's unusual - for so long (pre-A) we had a partnership - but no romance - I mean - ever. We were almost like siblings...and now - when he wants to spend time with me - it's so alien - I think - my god - he "love" loves me!

This weekend is also the first weekend in 7 months he will work the same bar as his former AP. It'll be the last hour or so of the night (I think...have to address that tomorrow...) and I know this will be very difficult for me. I told H - "well - I suppose all I can do is hope for a runaway bus to hit her this week..." And he replied - "no honey - you can also trust that I'll do the right thing to protect you - that I'll do the right thing and have nothing to do with her. Have faith in me Nora." I hope he's right - either way, I have anti-anxiety meds to help me through it - should I need it.

So I'm anticipating our trip on Sunday AND dreading Friday and Saturday. So conflicting...

jjsr posted 5/14/2013 22:28 PM

I get why you are feeling conflicted. Working at a bar, late at night, boy I would be uncomfortable. Can he find another job? Sending you good thoughts

NoraLee posted 5/14/2013 22:36 PM

Thanks for the support...he works at a casino - the only one in town. Great benefits - great wage for a bartender - plus tips.... Unfortunately no - this has been his career for 18 years...Rumour has it she's thinking of leaving waitressing for the janitorial department....I can hope - but I try not to since I think this is a game she's playing...she told people she was switching to a day shift a month ago - everyone was shocked that she didn't - I think she keeps hoping H will reconnect should he think she'll be out of reach. She seems to confide this in people she knows my H talks to frequently...

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