Hi, I’m new here. A little over a year ago I found out my husband was kissing (his word) a woman at work over a period of a couple months several years ago (like 7). She quit working there, Then he began coming on to another woman. He would say stuff to her once in a while, like every few months or so over a few years, telling her he found her attractive and wanted to sleep with her. Once when traveling for work together, he made a pass at her. She denied his advances. He mostly stopped, but would occasionally make a comment – nothing too major, just a compliment or something. Then he was having a meeting with her one day and again told her how he’d like to sleep with her, so she ended up suing him for sexual harassment, which is how I found out. We own a business, I work there part-time.
We are trying to move on. He told me how sorry he was, how much he loves me, gave me all these excuses as to why, how he wants us just to be a happy family blah, blah. We have two kids. He seems to be trying mend our marriage, spending time together as a family, doing things for me, being patient, etc., but I am having a really hard time forgiving and moving forward.
Thing is, there was this other woman, not one of the two above, and they had a very close friendship. He says they never slept together, but I don’t know if I believe him. Last week, I found a bunch of old emails from her, like from 2008-9. Most of them were political jokes and stuff. Some of the others weren’t. She was no longer working there (she had quit to go work somewhere else), was saying how much she missed him, calling him her buddy, her friend. In one email she said how he knew what a good listener she was. One of the emails was a joke about mistresses. One was how badly she wanted her job back – how much she missed working there, missed him. He told me she was emailing, calling, texting and that he wasn’t getting back to her – this was a really busy time for us at work and we were building a new home. He did talk to her about why she couldn’t come back to work there, which was business related, not personal. I’m not sure what else they talked about as I didn’t hear the phone conversation. This was before the harassment suit.
Anyway, I’m rambling - trying to put 7 years of stuff into a short summary. I guess I don’t really have a question. Just thought I’d post this to see what people thought. He wants me to forgive & move on, says he had a bad phase where he was overly flirty, but he realized what he was doing was wrong and hurting me and he isn’t behaving that way now.