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My H's female "friend" - Need Advice

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libertyrocks posted 5/15/2013 10:56 AM

H used to work at a bar. He recently got a new job and does not drink anymore. So, at almost midnight, his (drinking bar) buddy's girlfriend (total legit bf/gf) calls my H last night. H was short with her saying my W and I are sleeping. Then, she goes on to say oh, we miss you. wtf?? I can hear because I made him call back the number that was missed.

So, I was going to fb message her this:
Hi It's X's wife. He does not drink anymore, so please don't call us in the middle of the night.

I don't think it's appropriate for you to tell someone else's husband that you miss him. By the way, how did you get his number??

What do you all think?

[This message edited by libertyrocks at 10:57 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)]

confused615 posted 5/15/2013 10:58 AM

I find it really weird that she would think it was ok to call a married man in the middle of the night.

Since your WH no longer drinks,and this buddy was just a drinking buddy,maybe he should go NC with both of them.

JanaGreen posted 5/15/2013 10:58 AM

I think that it's your husband's place to send that note, not yours.

confused615 posted 5/15/2013 11:00 AM

I wonder if his telling her "My wife and I are sleeping" was to warn her as soon as he answered that you were there and nearby. Im sorry,but this would send up a red flag for me.

roughroadahead posted 5/15/2013 11:01 AM

Agreed. Your H sends the note. You don't want the drinking buddy to shrug you off with a "man, that dude's wife is batshit crazy". Also, these are your H's changes to make on his own. Tends to more successful that way, rather than if it is imposed on him.

brokensmile322 posted 5/15/2013 11:13 AM

Yeah. Her cell number would be blocked too. WTF!

But I do agree, any note should come from WH.

What was his opinion of the call? Was he irritated?

libertyrocks posted 5/15/2013 11:20 AM

Thanks everyone. You saved me from making a huge mistake!!

I met her and her boyfriend. H, kids and I helped them move. I agree, I don't want them to think I'm crazy. No doubt she will tell her bf.

Yes, he was irritated, but saying things like oh, they (her bf and their other friends) probably told her to call me. H also said they don't know he's not driniking anymore.

But, I'm going to check phone bill to see just how much H and her talked...

It just seemed shady, if that's his friend, the girl who called, why didn't he talk to her like a friend, instead of being irritated?? That's my question. He wasn't nice to her.

My whole body, mind, and heart are on code red alert!!!!!

Luckily I don't have to worry about internet stuff with him. He doesn't have a fb, doesn't know how to email, etc.

Wish me luck. Hopefully, I don't have another Dday...

I want so badly to contact HER bf and ask him if he knows she's calling my H or that she would call him all the time before Dday in November. I suspect an EA at the least. My H very personable, friendly, and likeable. Sadly, I would not be surprised if they slept together. It would just be another one...

[This message edited by libertyrocks at 11:56 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)]

stupidgurl posted 5/15/2013 19:00 PM

He needs to either block her or hang up on her when she calls, or tell her not to call him anymore.

StillGoing posted 5/15/2013 21:24 PM

When I quit drinking regularly it took awhile for other people to accept that. In some cases it was taken as a challenge, with people just pouring shots to put in front of me. It pissed me off sometimes and I got short and cut it off as quick as I could just to keep it from going further.

Dunno if that is what is going on there, but it sounds like the kind of stupid shit people do with drunk dialing. IMO you should talk to your H about it if it is bothering you but don't contact those people. They aren't your friends, so it's not likely you'll get much help from anyone there.

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